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OPEN SCARS
Are you happy now daddy? You took something as beautiful as I once was and you trashed it.
You’re left me with these open wounds, these scars that I have to see every day of my life, the scars that are in my mind. You left without me one day…..
But you left me these scars and they are all that I really have to remember you by, these scars that renew and bust open like they did when you first put them in my mind.
It seems to hurt a little more each time that your face flashes in my mind, like it did when you told me that you hated me. I still haven’t forgotten any of that and I never will either. These scars, from the moment that I wake up, until the moment that I fall asleep it’s the only thing that is even there and even though you aren’t, they still are and I don’t think that they will ever leave because a scar is for life daddy.
You trashed me daddy…. You far overlooked me and you took me for granted because you never really cared or at least that’s what you expressed to me so many times over the years, how you “don’t give a fuck.” And it never really came as a surprise to me either. I guess you thought it hurt me, and it did too, but then after so long daddy, I learned not to pay any mind to that because I knew that it wasn’t really you talking, it was the beer.
And when you would spank me so hard that I would pee, then you would always spank me harder because you got pee on your hand, do you remember daddy? I do, I haven’t forgotten about that either but that too was only your beer, I knew that you would never really hurt me. No way, not if you could of helped it, although you wished me dead so many times before, I knew that you didn’t really mean it.
And when I would hear mommy in the next room crying with the bedroom door shut late at night, I knew that even though she never said anything about it, which also was your beer. You would never want to make mommy cry, and you would kill anyone who ever tired, I know you daddy.
You expect me to understand you and your beer, that it wasn’t your fault, and I guess that I really didn’t want to see it that way, but you know it’s you daddy, you know it was you.
So can you understand these scars yet daddy? Can you see them? The blood is rising already, I can feel it. And it does daddy, it hurts me so much more each time that I do it, because each time that these scars start to show, that’s when I die a little at the same time.
Happiness is only temporary, but scars, they last forever.
You’re left me with these open wounds, these scars that I have to see every day of my life, the scars that are in my mind. You left without me one day…..
But you left me these scars and they are all that I really have to remember you by, these scars that renew and bust open like they did when you first put them in my mind.
It seems to hurt a little more each time that your face flashes in my mind, like it did when you told me that you hated me. I still haven’t forgotten any of that and I never will either. These scars, from the moment that I wake up, until the moment that I fall asleep it’s the only thing that is even there and even though you aren’t, they still are and I don’t think that they will ever leave because a scar is for life daddy.
You trashed me daddy…. You far overlooked me and you took me for granted because you never really cared or at least that’s what you expressed to me so many times over the years, how you “don’t give a fuck.” And it never really came as a surprise to me either. I guess you thought it hurt me, and it did too, but then after so long daddy, I learned not to pay any mind to that because I knew that it wasn’t really you talking, it was the beer.
And when you would spank me so hard that I would pee, then you would always spank me harder because you got pee on your hand, do you remember daddy? I do, I haven’t forgotten about that either but that too was only your beer, I knew that you would never really hurt me. No way, not if you could of helped it, although you wished me dead so many times before, I knew that you didn’t really mean it.
And when I would hear mommy in the next room crying with the bedroom door shut late at night, I knew that even though she never said anything about it, which also was your beer. You would never want to make mommy cry, and you would kill anyone who ever tired, I know you daddy.
You expect me to understand you and your beer, that it wasn’t your fault, and I guess that I really didn’t want to see it that way, but you know it’s you daddy, you know it was you.
So can you understand these scars yet daddy? Can you see them? The blood is rising already, I can feel it. And it does daddy, it hurts me so much more each time that I do it, because each time that these scars start to show, that’s when I die a little at the same time.
Happiness is only temporary, but scars, they last forever.
Published 30th Jul 2012
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