You

From passion
To this
A weeping mass
Of barely held-back screams
Another year in torment
Attempting to claw my way back
To the real of life
Fighting for what is beautiful
From my heart to my fingertips
Here, on this page
Is where I bleed from gutted flesh
Calling your name
Dreaming you here
Walking this house called sanctuary
Smiling at the bird-laden trees
And cupping the sweet joy of your grandchildren's faces.
Am I just weeping for pity
Because this pain is shutting my breath
What has been wrong with me for nearly two years now
Is that you are not here
You
The light of you the scent of you
Your warmth
I want to sit outside with you
Under the green-roofed gazebo
And hold your hand
But I cannot
I cannot
Even though my mind can see you clearly
I can't bring you back.