What will I do now I don't have you?

What will I do now I don't have you?
It's hard to define what I'm going through.
I can't explain the turbulent emotion;
The guilt and angst in every notion;
The flurry of fear of passing time.
Clawing at the knowledge you will never be mine.
Like a deer caught in the headlights of life
You swerve and soak me with a puddle of strife
As you pass on by in the darkened gloom
I lie here composing in my solemn room.
To hold you close; to feel your heart
Beating; pounding. I'm falling apart.
I know not what steps, next to take
To feel your touch; to feel the rake
Of your polished nails upon my back;
To taste the sweetness of your moistened crack;
To cup in my hand your heaving chest;
To make you moan as I stroke your breast.
I long for the day when once more you gaze
At me; for me. If, but for a few days.
To nibble your neck and make you gasp
I'd gladly receive this as my task.
I know this shall not come to pass.
I know I shall no more taste that ass.
I am resigned to the zone of friend.
The torment it brings must surely end
For if it remains it shall destroy me.
In sanity of mind if not in body.
But in saying this I fear ostracision
From your life. It's your decision.
That alone would crush my soul.
I do not wish this to be my goal.
It's not to be, so, so be it.
Act upon this as you see fit.