suicidal aftertaste

i bite my tongue and close my eyes
tears stream down my face
my hands so wet with dripping blood
suicidal aftertaste

you wonder what im on about
has he lost his mind
so let me just enlighten you
let me hit rewind

was born into a fucked up world
with parents fucked as hell
please excuse my fucked up words
fucked up tale i tell

on my knees could barely walk
so young i could not fight
but lo behold what do we find
was sodomised at night

not knowing the difference between right and wrong
advantage was taken again
and again and again and again and again
do you ask me am i insane

yes dear sir or madam or friend
i have seem to have lost my mind
as i now am old enough to know
that what happened has no rewind

old enough now to walk to school
that's when i can walk at all
as i get beaten almost every day
get kicked even when i fall

so by the time when both parents fucked off to hell
and i was on my own
i remembered all these thing i now tell
oh my how i have grown

self sustaining member of the community
with a hint of suicidal lunacy
i go to work and pretend to care
at a cross road i now stare

the people who hurt me before
i know the adress to their front door
so i ponder and think of what to do
as im big and strong now i sould see revenge through

or should i end this story of mine
with a bow and goodbye and some good red wine
some tablets and bullets and a nice thick rope
fuck there is no hope

perhaps one day when i am old
and blue and cold
you can put me six feet under in my grave
piss on me but please manage a wave