deepundergroundpoetry.com
Nothing Else Matters
Nothing else matters
7-17-12
Face down in a pool of blood.
All vital signs have long ago faded.
No chances left. In this game of life roulette.
No remorse and no regrets.
No fear, no worries, no more cares to throw away,
For nothing more matters today.
No more breathes to take,
No more heart aches.
No more second chances,
No more romances.
Solved the riddle and paid the price.
No hesitation or time for goodbyes.
What must be done has succeeded.
This wretched soul can now be rested.
No more sunshine, no more rain.
No more smiles and no more pain.
An ending too long anticipated.
For a cure a life was traded.
Everything has lost its meaning
Free at last this heart’s stopped beating.
**work in progress
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Published 17th Jul 2012
| Edited 25th Aug 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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20th Jul 2012 6:13pm
I realize this is a "work in progress but 1) "No longer bound by life's bullshit" seems misplaced. It's an ok line, but seems to conclude, finalize the three lines that follow, instead of clarifying them. 2) He is already dead, so, obviously, "This rested soul can now be rested." 3) You don't really build up a case, for this reader, that his death "was too long anticipated." Sure, as you point out well, he was a bastard. But the last two lines of stanza 5, beginning with "an" and ending in "traded" are too strong. Finally, "Everything has (NOT) lost its meaning." He is still remembered, the consequences of his actions endure, thoughts about him continue, etc. Hope this was helpful, however fragmentary.
marcella1
marcella1
