Just when I was about to start writing Haiku again

opheliac

Like it, as per it says a lot in a little.

clang seems an odd choice of word given the proceeding lines though. it does sound good while reading aloud but I wonder if the more obvious Cling might suit better :P

good to see you posting. shine on  

I was wondering the exact same thing myself. Perhaps someone could comment with the answer to our question.
Thank you very much for taking the time. Much appreciated.
I had a break and now im back - hopefully.

I think cling is fine Ophie. Even though this is a haiku and I am supposed to guess but I will be delighted to know your thoughts over the subject. Till then I am reading it again and again for understanding the piece.

No this is not a haiku. Haiku resembles the purity of the moment and nature at its finest. Writing Haiku, for me, its like forgetting and learning to move on.

"Cling" does sound like a better word, but maybe it is too soft.  The "leaf . . . of a young and foolish tree" might "clang" out of extreme fear, because the "branches" are "foolish" after all.  But it's all the branches, the entire tree, so they certainly might "clang."  To me, the choice is yours, of course, but I think you need a stronger work, like "clang."  If I were the leaf I would.


marcella1

such a useful deconstruction which induces me to re-think my poem. I appreciate your colourful interpretation as well as opinion on the aforementioned matter.
'To me, the choice is yours, of course, but I think you need a stronger work, like "clang."  If I were the leaf I would. '
loved.

Personally, I prefer "cling" to "clang" simply because "clang" to me is a sound.  The word itself reverberates in my ear almost like someone struck a very poorly tuned gong.  I feel as though it's too loud in this poem.

Still, this is an amazing piece!

that's a very useful comment. thank you very much for your leaving a comment!

SHORT, SIMPLE AND BEAUTIFUL AS I LIKE

appreciated :)