deepundergroundpoetry.com
Investigate the Cause
Diseased by association,
Judged, and evaluated.
Madness flows in my veins.
Beware, small minds,
Keep away.
Blinking neon sign,
Hanging on my forehead.
A twisted family tree,
Stubs for branches,
Trimmed by society.
New sprouts,
Just smaller versions
Of those already gone.
Go seeking individuality,
Come back to the shadows,
Unsuccessful.
This label,
Is sewn to our skin.
Pill packets and tablets,
A small room.
It’s our place,
Always has been.
Have you ever wondered...
What caused us to be this way?
Judged, and evaluated.
Madness flows in my veins.
Beware, small minds,
Keep away.
Blinking neon sign,
Hanging on my forehead.
A twisted family tree,
Stubs for branches,
Trimmed by society.
New sprouts,
Just smaller versions
Of those already gone.
Go seeking individuality,
Come back to the shadows,
Unsuccessful.
This label,
Is sewn to our skin.
Pill packets and tablets,
A small room.
It’s our place,
Always has been.
Have you ever wondered...
What caused us to be this way?
Published 25th Jun 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
17th Aug 2012 5:56am
I like this piece a lot, and I can't think of anything to change in terms of word choice etc. That said, I've never been a fan of capitalizing every line, because it sort of covers up the places where you'd normally want a pause while reading. In addition, I think you went a bit heavy on the commas; you should really only use them between phrases and ideas and stuff. If I may be so presumptuous as to suggest a caps/punctuation scheme for this piece:
Diseased by association,
judged, evaluated.
Madness flows in my veins.
Beware, small minds,
keep away.
Blinking neon sign
hanging on my forehead.
A twisted family tree,
stubs for branches,
trimmed by society.
New sprouts,
just smaller versions
of those already gone.
Go seeking individuality,
come back to the shadows
unsuccessful.
This label
is sewn to our skin.
Pill packets and tablets,
a small room.
It’s our place,
always has been.
Have you ever wondered
what caused us to be this way?
Diseased by association,
judged, evaluated.
Madness flows in my veins.
Beware, small minds,
keep away.
Blinking neon sign
hanging on my forehead.
A twisted family tree,
stubs for branches,
trimmed by society.
New sprouts,
just smaller versions
of those already gone.
Go seeking individuality,
come back to the shadows
unsuccessful.
This label
is sewn to our skin.
Pill packets and tablets,
a small room.
It’s our place,
always has been.
Have you ever wondered
what caused us to be this way?
30th Sep 2012 10:10am
I am sorry I've been unactive for... what, months now? Anyway, I really do like your idea, and I agree. I am a bit of a sucker to overdo the punctuation =/. I shall edit ;] thankyou so much for the comment
