Ode to veggies everywhere. Or:  What to do if you want to cool a relationship.

He keeps a neat and tidy home,
where he plays home alone,
to him it's very pleasant;
tasteful, yet somehow very queer;
He's the only living being there,
but there are other people present.

" whos treat is it today,
who shall we make Queen of may?"
Throwing open the freezer lid,
pushing aside the frozen squid,
clearing freezer snow from her face,
He gazes at his lover.

She must not be thawed out too quick;
but left too cold she'll freeze his dick.
Now, frostbite of the dick is bad,
He'd never, ever be a dad,
nor again a husband.

He has a problem now,
something he had forgotten;
something, that leaves him ill ease,
the label said "do not refreeze";
and something is smelling rotten.

At last her hand has thawed out
still cold and a little dank,
Oh for a love that lingers;
Lets have a five, whoops, three fingered wank.
Put the other two in a bag,
and label them Stiff Fingers.

He turns her over on her tum,
now he wants to rim her;
what's that awful smell coming from her Bum?
It will put him off his dinner.
Twenty years of re-frozen cum,
is stirring deep within her.

Use Glade; The worlds best corpse deoderant.

He's no Norman Bates;
He hates the correlation;
he has never mummified his Mum,
and only frozen one relation;
he never defiles this one;
He's hers for the rest of life.
When he' dies they can freeze him too,
and lay him with his wife.