alone

when you dont have "her"..
regardless of if you have before..
it doesnt matter anymore..
in this eternal moment..
the emptiness..
the loneliness..
the longing..
is in the here and now..
which is all we will ever have..
I don't know whether I'd rather have sex..
or be dead..
sex is one moment of heaven..
death is the final trip..
(the blade gets more and more tempting everyday)