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Golden Greed
Golden Greed
As I walked through the mall today
Searching for a book to read at
The local mall bookstore
I couldn’t help but notice that
We still are a capitalistic society
We swallow the slimy horrible tasting advertisements
Because it’s the only way to live
Capitalism is ingrained in our skin
Like prisoners in Russia it’s marked
We are pigs rolling in our own golden filth
And our society is made of golden corruption
Where Gold paves our streets
And gold builds our buildings
And gold is in the needles of drugs
And gold is stuck between our teeth
And greed holds a heavy cloud over our heads
Greed starts wars
And gold finishes them
Greed destroys lives
And gold laughs
I wonder if we’ll ever learn that greed
Doesn’t get us anywhere
I wonder when we’ll become aware
That greed divides us
And conquers us
As I walked through the mall today
Searching for a book to read at
The local mall bookstore
I couldn’t help but notice that
We still are a capitalistic society
We swallow the slimy horrible tasting advertisements
Because it’s the only way to live
Capitalism is ingrained in our skin
Like prisoners in Russia it’s marked
We are pigs rolling in our own golden filth
And our society is made of golden corruption
Where Gold paves our streets
And gold builds our buildings
And gold is in the needles of drugs
And gold is stuck between our teeth
And greed holds a heavy cloud over our heads
Greed starts wars
And gold finishes them
Greed destroys lives
And gold laughs
I wonder if we’ll ever learn that greed
Doesn’t get us anywhere
I wonder when we’ll become aware
That greed divides us
And conquers us
Published 17th Jun 2012
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Anonymous
18th Jun 2012 6:09pm
This poem is under miscellaneous, might be relevant under observation. Your poem show much potential and thought. It could use a re-write and I wish I could tell you exactly what should be re-written....but this is just my opinion.
I heartily agree with the message of the poem. We have become more greedy and this had led to what will ultimately be the fall of the West.
Keep writing
Welcome to DUP, New Member
Peace
Kitty
I heartily agree with the message of the poem. We have become more greedy and this had led to what will ultimately be the fall of the West.
Keep writing
Welcome to DUP, New Member
Peace
Kitty
20th Jun 2012 3:09am
20th Jun 2012 3:05am
I can't decide - either the line breaks really, really add an extra punch to what you're saying, or they make it seem choppy and unfinished.
For example:
As I walked through the mall today
Searching for a book to read
At the local mall bookstore
I couldn’t help but notice
That we still are a capitalistic society
We swallow the slimy horrible tasting advertisements
Because it’s the only way to live
Only a few small changes, but I think it sorts out the ideas a little more clearly. It's very stark, though, on the other hand, and if we're going along with your theme and everything, it might make sense for the line breaks to be a little "off." So basically, I just talked in a circle. Sorry.
For example:
As I walked through the mall today
Searching for a book to read
At the local mall bookstore
I couldn’t help but notice
That we still are a capitalistic society
We swallow the slimy horrible tasting advertisements
Because it’s the only way to live
Only a few small changes, but I think it sorts out the ideas a little more clearly. It's very stark, though, on the other hand, and if we're going along with your theme and everything, it might make sense for the line breaks to be a little "off." So basically, I just talked in a circle. Sorry.
20th Jun 2012 3:08am
Thank you for the feedback. I appreciate it. I'll look into the line break thing. I hear what you're saying with it. :)
