deepundergroundpoetry.com
Goose
I have forgotten
why you are laughing
but strolling naked
always makes me smile
Is it because
the crickets applaud the stars
or maybe the softer
brogue of the ocean
splashing moonlight
along the curves of our beach
I know this tangle of limbs
it twines two of everything
turning us into a goose
one stumble and we fall
a willing heap in the sand
foolish embers
for our fire of eyes
fanned by the ache of desire
Is this how love begins
knowing there is no master
no mistress of silks
teasing flame from flesh
only the arrow and the bow
the chaos of equal armies
confronting their limits of passion
as we drift beyond surrender
still drawn towards its prize
While far off in the bay
to the lure of a rising tide
a fisherman's light is bobbing
why you are laughing
but strolling naked
always makes me smile
Is it because
the crickets applaud the stars
or maybe the softer
brogue of the ocean
splashing moonlight
along the curves of our beach
I know this tangle of limbs
it twines two of everything
turning us into a goose
one stumble and we fall
a willing heap in the sand
foolish embers
for our fire of eyes
fanned by the ache of desire
Is this how love begins
knowing there is no master
no mistress of silks
teasing flame from flesh
only the arrow and the bow
the chaos of equal armies
confronting their limits of passion
as we drift beyond surrender
still drawn towards its prize
While far off in the bay
to the lure of a rising tide
a fisherman's light is bobbing
Published 16th Jun 2012
| Edited 15th Oct 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
Dammit Abra, I have no idea how you can publish so much so often that is this well written. I have three theories:
1 You employ a team of Abras, wife and kids slaving away at poetry, or a cloister of twisted abbots sweating over these in shifts.
2 You are a force of nature... gravity, strong force, weak force, electromagnetism, and Abracadabra.
3 You have sworn a pact with some spirit that allows you to stand in front of paper and say"Abracadabra" and a poem leaps out from your forehead.
It's crafted, lean, insightful, no extraneous mucking about with the words. That fourth stanza has no equal in my recent memory. Crickets applaud the stars, buried in the middle there nonchalantly, I would have made a whole poem of this and bragged for months about a line like that. Stop man! The envy is eating me alive.
1 You employ a team of Abras, wife and kids slaving away at poetry, or a cloister of twisted abbots sweating over these in shifts.
2 You are a force of nature... gravity, strong force, weak force, electromagnetism, and Abracadabra.
3 You have sworn a pact with some spirit that allows you to stand in front of paper and say"Abracadabra" and a poem leaps out from your forehead.
It's crafted, lean, insightful, no extraneous mucking about with the words. That fourth stanza has no equal in my recent memory. Crickets applaud the stars, buried in the middle there nonchalantly, I would have made a whole poem of this and bragged for months about a line like that. Stop man! The envy is eating me alive.
I have to write when ideas come to me or I lose them, making the time any way I can.
I try not to spend more than a couple of hours on the bones but I always edit a lot and never stop tweaking.
I guess June must be a wonderful moon for writers (everybody's posting loads on the web right now) and when it's approaching full a poet blooms or at least dies scribbling at any rate.
Big thanks for your feedback, Steve
~Abra(poetslave)Cadabra
I try not to spend more than a couple of hours on the bones but I always edit a lot and never stop tweaking.
I guess June must be a wonderful moon for writers (everybody's posting loads on the web right now) and when it's approaching full a poet blooms or at least dies scribbling at any rate.
Big thanks for your feedback, Steve
~Abra(poetslave)Cadabra
17th Jun 2012 1:02pm
a pearl of your well-crafted poems! Am becoming more n more an ardent follower of ur insightful writes, bringing even slightest of thoughts running over in beauty!!
As Steve said, fourth stanza is in-equable to any perfect presentation styles I ha read across recently..chaos of equal armies! hats off..and a wide sea of imageries all over to bring intensity to the theme!
Thank you fr this share again..am grasping a lot from a genius writer in you..
summultima~
As Steve said, fourth stanza is in-equable to any perfect presentation styles I ha read across recently..chaos of equal armies! hats off..and a wide sea of imageries all over to bring intensity to the theme!
Thank you fr this share again..am grasping a lot from a genius writer in you..
summultima~
18th Jun 2012 7:02am
I'm rather taken with that stanza myself.
(I don't always like everything I write)
But your kind words brighten a grey, miserable, rain sodden Monday morning. (London in June!)
Thank you, Summultima.
(I don't always like everything I write)
But your kind words brighten a grey, miserable, rain sodden Monday morning. (London in June!)
Thank you, Summultima.
