Be Careful For What You Wish For

I opened my eyes this morning,
Before the sunrise was due,
The first words i heard were cruel,
More than enough to stab you.

Of how imperfect i was,
That I had nothing,
That i was ungrateful,
Of what misery i bring.

Sunrise symbolized new hope,
For me, that was not true,
It just meant the endurance of another day,
Hopeless and without a clue.

The sunset brought beauty,
The death of another day,
The arrival of oblivion,
Keep the thoughts at bay.

Staring at the ceiling,
Thinking about all my suffering,
Death or life?
On whom shall i cling?

I reached for my meds,
Too impatient to count,
Popped them all in,
Never took the side effects into account.

I turn over in frustration,
Then everything started to spin,
I heard her banging on the door,
Raging on like she's always been.

I closed my eyes,
And the mask melts away,
I start to lose consciousness,
This time, only my body will stay.

A peaceful death,
Thats all i ever wanted,
To slip away in my sleep,
Free from being taunted.