take solace in the parallel existence of happier possibilities

the repetition is almost hypnotizing in the first portion which works with the clock theme. writing about ticking clocks are often overdone, but i really like this for its superficial simplicity. i do love the title on this as well. if i had any suggestion it would be to separate this
'and the clock is turning
but the earth is not
the same minute
cycles through numbers'
into two pieces. though if you're aiming for a stream of consciousness, then maybe it could be reworked that way so it read something more like 'but the earth is not the same minute cycling through numbers'

just a thought.

this is really nice, mike. :]

Thanks a lot. The first two thirds came out together, and then it sat unfinishable for a few weeks until the last third found its way there. The title was several things over the course of it, the other major one being something to the effect of "our parallel selves have a world together" or something. As for the lines you mention, that was a sticking point which had occurred to me, but I'm kind of a sucker for aesthetic symmetry in poem layouts (though I realize full well that's almost never an acceptable reason to affect the writing itself) so I left it as four unbroken lines. I'll have a think about changing it though. Thanks as always for reading and commenting!

The title of this is almost as good as the poem itself. I like how stripped down and intimate your narrative is. You evoke a sense of meaninglessness, as if the lovers are naught but pins in a map covering a spectrum larger than they can conceive. It's bleak, but not depressing. It's elegiac and sweet. Thanks for the read.

Thanks. The first two thirds were written as a sort of odd attempt (for me) at just writing random stuff for flow more than content. The last third and the title give it the meaning; I had at least three separate iterations which I completely scrapped before arriving at the current version. Thanks for the input as always bud.

Mike

What a beautiful title for a poem.
That itself read like one itself as
if a monolithic magnetic voice dictates
the secret of eternal happiness to the
reader. Bravo.

The first stanza itself creates the tone
very well. Especially in the idea of
repeation [The ticks] that conveyes the
bleak monotony very well.

And post that the repeation just serves
juctice.

The change of refernece in the next stanza
is brilliant [Hands of a clock to a planet]

The insignificance of the lovers is portayed
with such beauty. Like Jack has said already,
it's somehow comforting knowing that you are
STILL a sand on an endless beach.

Well done, sir.

Write on,

Sumeet

Thanks a lot Sumeet, glad you took so much from it!

Lovely thought-provoking piece of write!
am a new reader to your poetry & should say its simply astounding in the interpreted meanings, apart from simpler words & spacing technique handled very adeptly!

Solace here is the gr8ter survival aspect rather than grossly expecting from the world...those unending devilish desires..

Again, interpret your solace here as those points of miniscule not driven to any ridiculous unison ..alarming me of a suicidal move!
Safe, better n maybe only way left out...single point stand ..for anything in that case, happiness or despair or just inert survival..

should say, liked the way it is titled...a revealing dimension in itself!
 

Thanks for stopping by, glad you liked it!

http://prime-spot.de/Bilder/BR/schwarzschild_l.jpg

In Quantum psychology, by our being nothing, in Buddhist terms, we force the singularity with those around us by our being ZERO, a statement of Transcendentalism, an egoless state of oneness by self-deletion, non-negative annihilation....I think I get the poem....

and....
"along

a possibility"   simply because of the infinite universes effect, which nevertheless create a whole complexity, a hyper-singularity, layer after layer of neutrino stacks and bounces unboundaried....

That is entirely above and beyond what I myself was thinking, but I'm glad you got so much out of it, haha. Thanks for stopping by.

you had me at the title
amazing <3 =].

Thanks, I agonized over the title for weeks! Glad it worked out.

Love this. Favorited