deepundergroundpoetry.com
There, there,
There, there, honey bear. Let's
look like rain.
We'll kiss the ground
and caress the truth
to find out if the future
is or isn't.
Hush, hush, dear one.
Can you hear the gentle wind?
It brushes a tear drop from your eye,
and tousles your hair, and tries
to gently wash away the troubles on your mind.
It loves you today of all days.
You are its kind, now.
Tut, tut, little one.
Let's make like blooming rose petals.
Life was broken,
and dry as baked earth
until now.
look like rain.
We'll kiss the ground
and caress the truth
to find out if the future
is or isn't.
Hush, hush, dear one.
Can you hear the gentle wind?
It brushes a tear drop from your eye,
and tousles your hair, and tries
to gently wash away the troubles on your mind.
It loves you today of all days.
You are its kind, now.
Tut, tut, little one.
Let's make like blooming rose petals.
Life was broken,
and dry as baked earth
until now.
Published 7th Mar 2010
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12th Mar 2010 5:36am
Sounded more of consolation and inspiration rather than morbidity.
Or has my brain just completely shut down from subtleties?
Or has my brain just completely shut down from subtleties?
13th Mar 2010 3:28am
Well...yes, it did have elements of inspiration and consolation...or rather, perhaps, persuasion in it. Somehow, in my crazy little brain, I was trying to sound a bit sick, like, telling an unhappy child to um...leap off a ledge. "Let's look like rain" and "Let's make like blooming rose petals" were meant as descriptive phrases of falling and making a splash on the ground. But I was trying to make it sound kind of beautiful, and enticing. So, is that what you got from it, or was there something else that this little flight of fancy conveyed?
Anonymous
16th Mar 2010 4:16am
to this poem which I found interesting. I myself interpreted the "make like blooming rose petals" line to be something of a sexual metaphor. Either way, regardless of your intent, this is a finely crafted piece of verse. Rich and evocative. I especially enjoyed the personification of the "gentle wind".
16th Mar 2010 5:10am
Wow. Well, I guess it really doesn't have to be about suicide...but I'd still like to say that was my original intent, so I think it'll stay in the Dark category. Thank you, Jack. I thought I was making it sound kind of beautiful, but I had no idea it was so rich and evocative.
