Unrepentantly submissive over that damn couch

 
You told me to shush and  
drink the fucking water  
because I was shivering so hard  
from the shock and awe you  
brought to my body my  
teeth chattered  
 
I vowed to get the imprint of your teeth  
tramp-stamp tattooed  
on the tiny bundle  
of nerves at the base of my spine  
as you lifted me up  
and cuddled me to your chest  
giving me skin time as  
I came down from my high  
 
god, you get me so high  
 
You had the audacity to call me a brat  
earlier, when I was still  
pert-nippled and dry-hair defiant  
while you tied me to the couch  
as punishment.  
 
when really  
breaking a will,  
bending a body  
 
like mine  
 
takes  
strength  
and courage,  
and talent,    
and a little blind fucking luck  
 
I shivered and snuggled  
into your chest  
and got shy  
thinking of  
the ropes across my back  
just snug enough to make me  
feel like I was safe  
while knowing  
 
I wasn't  
 
because you'd give me  
pain and then pleasure  
until they were the same  
thing and my neurons  
blew like a fuse box  
leaving me in a dark cave of  
fuck. yes. baby.    
 
at least.  
that was your  
typical modus operandi  
 
and tonight seemed no different  
you shit-talked how  
much I was going to regret this,  
and made my knees weak  
with the way your  
man-growl slithered in my mind  
 
you sunburned my ass  
with the palm of your hand  
until it was hot to the touch  
juices leaking down my thigh  
tears leaking down my neck  
shoulders corded in  
exertion and  
motherfuck  
 
you changed the pain  
 
you changed the expected next steps  
and the outcomes  
 
A thorough spanking means  
I get petted and praised  
and fucked senseless  
that is how it goes,  
 
you whispered,  
'I said I loved that couch,'  
in my ear  
and pushed a toy in my mouth.  
until I gagged with  
understanding    
 
I begged with my eyes  
because  
I wasn't going to say the safe word  
 
And you were going to hurt me  
until I crossed my own lines  
in a way that felt like dying.  
 
You were going to make me  
fucking fight an orgasm  
until I lost the fight  
 
as many times  
 
as you wanted me to  
 
'Couch is already ruined,' you said  
pulling the  
long silicone plaything  
from my lips.  
 
You turned it on,  
the Twilight Mood,  
and I said your name  
and shook my head  
 
but I didn’t say the safe word  
 
We bought that toy for a date night  
a few months back.  
 
It's a long, slim wand,  
that folds in half,  
makes a C around the pussy  
The bottom half has a bulge that presses  
against the g spot while it vibrates,  
and the top half buzzes the clit.  
For couples time,  
you're supposed to  
slide in to me  
while it's  
in there  
 
but...  
it didn't all fit  
the toy...  
and you...  
together...  
were too girthy  
for my lady bits  
 
so we found other ways  
to have fun that night.  
 
I hadn't thought of it again.  
 
But tonight,  
I moaned as you  
slid in the cunt  
vibe and lined it  
up juuuuusst right,  
and I wriggled  
as you folded it and  
fit it to attack my clit  
simultaneously  
 
I willed myself to cum  
orgasm  
fucking spiral now  
 
before  
your lubed cock  
stretched me while  
this fucking thing  
beat my mind apart  
at 30,000 fucking beats per second  
 
your pants were foreshadowing  
as they fell to the floor  
belt softly cliniking  
as the first climax  
announced  
that I  
was  
cumming  
 
and I said your name  
but I didn’t have
a safe word  
when you were in me