Like A Beacon

I thought you’d left a light on for me    
in that place we built from thin air    
and pieces of ourselves we hid    
it stood as a monument to everything    
I didn’t know I wanted    
   
in that time it stilled    
a grand design    
a Van Gogh    
using pain and suffering to    
paint our version of “Starry Night”    
turning it into the most gorgeous suffering    
of fools in love    
   
we emblazoned our names into the the bust of the mantle    
with little hearts    
like love sick teenagers    
so someone could return in a hundred years    
and know Me For You was once valuable enough to carve into mahogany    
   
framed by a snow globe    
in front of the fires warmth    
the soft sound of your lilting laughter    
against the tease in my throat    
I could imagine    
I loved a body like yours    
until the shape of you was part of me    
   
my shoulders slumped when I ran away    
I showed for all the talk    
of masculinity and what it means to be a man    
unless I can fight it with my fists or stare it down    
into oblivion    
I don’t know    
don’t really know what to do    
so I left in a cowards walk of shame    
   
   
my redemption is at your mercy    
our snow globe a beacon    
so I could find my way back to your arms    
   
all I ask is that you hate me    
   
hate me    
until you love me again