Like A Beacon

I thought you’d left a light on for me  
in that place we built from thin air  
and pieces of ourselves we hid  
it stood as a monument to everything  
I didn’t know I wanted  
   
in that time it stilled  
a grand design    
a Van Gogh  
using pain and suffering to  
paint our version of “Starry Night”  
turning it into the most gorgeous suffering  
of fools in love    
   
we emblazoned our names into the the bust of the mantle    
with little hearts    
like love sick teenagers  
so someone could return in a hundred years  
and know Me For You was once valuable enough to carve into mahogany  
   
framed by a snow globe  
in front of the fires warmth  
the soft sound of your lilting laughter  
against the tease in my throat  
I could imagine  
I loved a body like yours  
until the shape of you was part of me  
   
my shoulders slumped when I ran away  
I showed for all the talk  
of masculinity and what it means to be a man  
unless I can fight it with my fists or stare it down  
into oblivion    
I don’t know    
don’t really know what to do  
so I left in a cowards walk of shame  
   
   
my redemption is at your mercy  
our snow globe a beacon  
so I could find my way back to your arms  
   
all I ask is that you hate me  
   
hate me  
until you love me again