To My Greatest Love

You will forever be my greatest love,  
and my greatest heartbreak.  
I never wanted to leave you—  
or that crying boy,  
alone.  
 
How I wish I could’ve wiped  
every tear from your youth,  
if I were your mother,  
I would’ve loved you endlessly.  
We would’ve wandered through museums,  
watched every art show,  
and I would’ve read to you every night.  
I would’ve taught you that beauty is in the beholder,  
but even when we can’t see it,  
it’s everywhere,  
in everything,  
and everyone—  
just like you.  
 
I would’ve cooked your favorite meals,  
held your tiny hand,  
as we visited oceans,  
and faraway places.  
I would’ve never let your talent go to waste.  
You would’ve never known what it felt like  
to not be loved.  
I would’ve been the mother you deserved,  
the one who always saw you.  
 
I fucking loved you,  
I really did,  
but I couldn’t save you,  
so I turned and I ran—  
too much of a coward  
to watch your heartbreak.  
 
We were supposed to take on the world.  
I wanted to be the one  
to hold your hand in old age.  
 
But sometimes,  
the only thing you can do  
is leave,  
hoping they’ll understand  
that you didn’t just do the best for you,  
but for them, as well.  
 
You will forever be my greatest love,  
and my greatest heartbreak.  
 
NP