deepundergroundpoetry.com
I choose my nightmares wisely
the doctor writes me a script
for one of the few drugs I’m not on
and I need them to stop this—
the silver shivers
the waves of nausea that journey
volatile seas in inadequate rafts
sometimes I wonder if life
would be different without pills
as I take stock of my body
how I lay at a 45 degree angle
feeling as if the bed is a millstone
nightly grinding away parts
of my life and my spine
how the atrophy in my muscles
is setting in, and I feel it every time
I stand in the street, breathless,
clinging to those lamp posts
and their moral support
and I don’t want it—
the disease
the monthly signatures
the fucking sympathy
I just want to hold myself
and tell my bones that everything
will be ok, that I’m still beautiful
and relevant, and other sunrises
I wait for long after dark
but these nights, man
these nights are so fucking long
like shards of glass in my veins
as I sit remembering a time
I was a complete sculpture
on display, a work of art
so I sit with my nightmares
because my dreams offer
too many promises to grasp,
and the light is overwhelming
in the anchor of its dark.
Last night, I dreamed of you.
I dreamed of you
like you were here
like you were a bandaid
for the unrelenting pain
and just like all good remedies
that run their course
you’ll never be fucking heard of
ever, again
Published Yesterday
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Hello,
This poem is clear in its message . It paints a strong picture and while reading, I as a reader only receive an impression. I dont know what the experience itself is like but I have been a silent witness to similar things in others or in others lives. The holding on to yourself or holding yourself, thats where I found you restraining back to yourself. I dont want to say more just keep holding yourself ever so tightly. I am just reaching out to you. exchanging these words.
Greetings and blessings
Rianne
This poem is clear in its message . It paints a strong picture and while reading, I as a reader only receive an impression. I dont know what the experience itself is like but I have been a silent witness to similar things in others or in others lives. The holding on to yourself or holding yourself, thats where I found you restraining back to yourself. I dont want to say more just keep holding yourself ever so tightly. I am just reaching out to you. exchanging these words.
Greetings and blessings
Rianne
Yesterday 6:34pm
Hey there.
I appreciate the warm comment. Hope you’re well and thanks for dropping in.
-M
I appreciate the warm comment. Hope you’re well and thanks for dropping in.
-M
Today 2:47am
Damn I miss your writes, when you take breaks from here. Your writing is so incredibly precise with the human conditions. No fluffy bunnies, just wolves at your door, so you write in spite of them, with a dagger for a pen.
This write is so deep with its mental anguish, along with the physical. You are always top tier, you will always be.
This write is so deep with its mental anguish, along with the physical. You are always top tier, you will always be.
Today 1:50pm
Hey Styx. Thanks for dropping in. I really appreciate the respectable comment. I didn’t really intend on coming back at all, and I’m not really here, truth be told. I just had a few pieces that needed to come out in the name of processing.
And yeah. We sacrifice the fluff bunnies up in here.
Hope you’re well, fella.
-M
And yeah. We sacrifice the fluff bunnies up in here.
Hope you’re well, fella.
-M
