Again?

This story is, of course, as old as the phrase "as old as the hills", but you craft it in a way which makes it feel fresh for the duration. The only nod to outright cliche was L5. I liked the contrast between L3 and 4, and how vulgar and violent L6 through 9 are.
All critique JMHO. Thanks for the read.

Thanks Jack. :)
L5 needs some fixin but idk.. I kind of like it for now.
"I am a cliche."

This poem ended with a bang.

As everything should.

Thank you..
c:

wow. i like this very much. how silly we are sometimes for people we think we love.

Thank you.

Carla

Straight to business.

'I can't say I'm surprised.
I've kissed your lips a few thousand times.

[The contrast is a great kick in. Baam. That is some start. The anti-romance tone is almost like a loud blaring horn. Holler.]

Sometimes they're plump and delicate,
other times thin and chapped.

[Nice contrast again. Graphic.]

They never fail to veil the same bullshit lies...

[Bullshit is slightly odd here from a grammatical PoV as well as content wise.
Largely unclassifiable, it is more or less
a noun. An alternative can work wonders.

Stale/rank etc. JMO]

I eat them up. Sloppy salivated lies.

(The second line is brilliant. Reminds me of a Pavlovian nightmare/Dogs. A great addition.]

I'm addicted so leave me wasted.

[I would suggest to end it at 'leave me']

Sprawled out, waiting for the next pair of lips
to suck me dry.'

[And start the sentence with 'Wasted' and gang up the rest. It will go with the flow and help set the mood of finality. JMHO.]

The last line sums it up very well. The poem screams of righteous rage and deepset anguish.
very effective in conveying its core emotion.

Write on C,

Sumeet

Thank you!
I've fixed the 'leave me' now I'm just wondering what to substitute with 'bullshit', it's taking me a while to find something that doesn't make it look even worse.

Great visual and expression here Carla, these few words speak volumes.  Great write.

Thank you!

love how this speaks volume and depth and you have great creativity with words and expression for feelings

Thank you, Serg.

wow you're an amazing writer, i also think your really pretty

Damnnnn, very blunt with so little words.

Many thanks, Blake.