Seeking Answers

Binge watching a lot of Sigma female videos, trying to understand myself and trying to understand that my way of thinking is not flawed. It's just different.

I got chewed out by many people for saying on a forum that this world thrives off corruption and greed and inauthenticity. I don't really know what is wrong with what I said. Drama sure is exhausting. Criticism especially criticism that seems demeaning rather than constructive zaps my energy. I would not be friends with any of these people. I'm picky as is with friendships. But people who will treat me like I'm weak or emotionally immature will get the door. Disagreeing with someone is one thing. It is quite another to feel like I'm not truly seen for who I am. Being misunderstood is something I've accepted to a degree, but it still zaps my energy from time to time.

That's what I know it's gonna take a lot of strength to do my writings and to do my music channel. I'm constantly going to be challenging the norm with my art. It's inevitable. I never really know if I'm overstepping the line, but I'm at the point where I'm too tired to care. I'm just trying to be me whether I'm spit on or not.

More than anything, I care to stay true to myself, no matter if I stand alone or not.

I hope I can decipher when I'm actually in the wrong vs if I'm just following my truest, most authentic path.

I'm very detached from others because they chose to be detached from me first. It wasn't me who pushed away others. They pushed me away willingly, and I'm just doing what I must in return to stay free.

And to remain me.