(43) Blissful Romance 01.21.2020 @ 2:00am

Friday the third, twenty twenty.
Backyard chilling, 1732 Browning Blvd.
Intoxication taking place.
A baddie stares back with a cute face.

Pounding away my past sorrows.
Smoking like there’s no tomorrow.
She loves to drink.
It didn’t take long to develop a burning desire.

What was it about her?
She started off as my homegirl.
Too many possibilities to consider.
Soon enough, I developed feelings for her.

In this life of mine;
Memories replay forever.
Much like my everyday life.
I live between fantasies and faded memories.

When I feel low, I crave her love.
When I’m with her, I feel so high up above.
She makes me feel special.
When we fuck, I feel like the devil.

Forgive me for being drunk.
Who would’ve thought I’d be sprung?
I don’t need to say how I feel.
This baddie knows the deal.

I can’t explain why I feel like this.
We’ve been through a lot of shit.
I fiend for your touch, your lust.
Love isn’t gone after all.

We started off as friends.
I’ll be with you until my time ends!
The best things in life happen unexpectedly.
I can’t believe we have a vivid chemistry.

The thing about me is;
I always get what I can’t have.
I can’t comprehend this situation.
From the start, she’s been my motivation.

We’re face to face, in your head.
Contemplating what’s going on in my head.
Comprehending what’s occurring in my vision.
Her lips are laced with passion.

She eases me with her ecstasy.
Her heart is my mission and destiny!
She’s my bubbah, who’s down as fuck.
She rocks my world, now that’s what’s up.

Love is a powerful drug.
When my vulnerability strikes, I crave her hug!
Between you and I, what happened that night;
Meant something to me, you’re damn right!

Sober dreaming, late night tripping.
It’s late at night & I’m here sipping.
I can’t seem to get you off my mind.
I’m crushing on you all the time.

My heart belongs to you, yours is mine.
For you, I’ll do the time.
We both have sorrows from our past.
Regardless, I want our love to last.

That night, I was feeling lonely.
I saw her more than my homie.
When she held me close;
I felt something there, pulsing.

I’ll always be there by your side.
You make me feel special.
You’re my new high!
Your pussy elevates me to the sky!

Like most of us, I’ve been hurt.
It’s been rough, being treated like dirt.
I’m used to being let down.
I used to ask if love will ever come around.

I feel like it finally has.
Her love is something I graspe.
She has what Sylent Ryder needs.
She pumps me up like methamphetamines.

She stood with me talking all night.
Since we’ve been together, I’ve felt flight.
In many ways, that meant something.
For me, it sure as hell did.

Believe me when I say it hurts.
I took off to my pad, to do some drugs.
When in fact, I would rather be with you.
Starring down at your beautiful eyes.

“Should I kiss her?”
We kissed and it felt unbelievably incredible.
Lips so soft, pressing against mine.
Her tongue gave me tingles.

By your side, in your bed.
That night, you made my smile rise.
I wanted to show you what I was feeling.
I couldn’t contain myself around you.

Everything happens for a reason.
Is it that time of the season?
This love has me questioning myself.
She pulled my heart off the shelf.

Will she be faithful to Sylent Ryder?
I fell in love since I’ve laid eyes on her.
Will she take care of me when I’m older?
Or will my life end up colder?

Before her presence.
I’ve felt empty for seven years.
Dwelling night after night.
I couldn’t sleep without shedding tears.

Now that she’s here.
She inspires me to write like shakespeare.
With her, I would love to disappear.
Her love is what I’ve endeared.

Being with her is not easy.
It’s not always fun and breezy.
At times, she makes me feel mad.
Sometimes, she makes me feel sad.

At the end of the day;
I’m like, “Fuck what people say!”
At times, I feel like using an AK.
So her people could shut the fuck up.

I hope she knows that I love her.
When I had nobody, she was there.
I haven’t felt suicidal.
Since day one, she’s been my idol.

Ever since, it’s been fuck my ex.
Despite what we go through, shit.
She’s not ready to be in another realtionship.
Here I sit saying, “Fuck the past, he ain’t shit!”

Down the line, I feel in love.
Her comfort makes me feel high up above.
I’ve said it already.
I’m here to stay, I’ve been ready.

She broke my heart and decided to leave me.
I’m just not ready to be free.
I rather overdose on methamphetamines.
Without her, I just can’t live in peace.

She’s loaded once again.
It’s one in the morning.
She’s drunk and asking for a cigarette.
I go to her without a single regret.

Maybe I’m just a goddam fool.
Deep inside, she makes me feel cool.
Being with her makes me feel strong.
Before her, I felt like my life was done.

Here I am, doing time behind bars.
She gave me a rush, like fast cars.
I know I’ve made a few mistakes.
She holds me down like car breaks.

Sometimes I don’t know bro.
I feel like I can’t live without her.
It’s been so hard throughout the years.
Harvesting tears from daily nightmares.

Now that she’s gone.
She got me in deep thought.
I don’t know how I’ll ever move on.
I still think about her when I hit my bong.

I will say, she made my day.
In appreciation, I got her a stuffed toy Scooby.
Whatever it takes, I’ll be her homie.
Despite our situation, G.

I feel like I’m losing my mind.
Deep inside, she touched my heart.
Without her, I feel like pure dirt.
I rather commit suicide than to be hurt.

Seven fucking years.
Reminiscing, I was in deep tears.
She held me close that night.
What developed afterwards, felt right.

I’ve fucked up enough times.
I asked her from the start.
“Do you really want to deal with this?”
She didn’t know what to say.

Today is a new day.
Feels like my soul is fading away.
The things she said hurt very much.
“We’re no longer dating.”

I’m faded thinking, it was fun while it lasted.
We used to vibe and get blasted.
Now that we’re just friends.
I’m lost, like my life has come to an end.

I used to be a hard ass.
Satanic prayers during black mass.
I’m nothing without her, every which way.
I feel reincarnated, in a dark way.

Pop another bottle.
My adrenaline is on full throttle.
Every night before I go to sleep;
Is a constant reminder, I’m in too deep.

I am the black sheep.
I’m doing time in life, I feel weak.
Strung out on crystal meth, tweak.
Red, white, and blue lights, I feel the heat.

Is it the devil?
Reaching out to me from underneath?
I’m stressing, grinding my teeth.
Fuck my anxiety, I’m blazing keif.

I thought you were the one.
You get me going like good coke.
I need you in my life.
Please babe, don’t go switching sides.

I can’t function without her.
Since she left, life seems like a blur.
That night, I ran the red light.
I was trying everything to die.

It hurt when she searched for me.
I was locked up in a cell homie.
Praying to God to let me go free.
To relive my final fantasy.

In the end, our love went to hell.
Forgive me mami for ending up in a cell.
I ended up in Los Angeles County.
I gave her my heart, she was zooming in.

She discovered my flaws.
No wins or gain, it’s a draw.
From the start, I felt like a snob.
Gaining love without a job.

That being said.
I lost her and now I feel dead.
My plan was to spoil her.
I’m in agony, dropping tears for her.

If I can be honest.
I feel like our love isn’t really over.
It felt special, like a Range Rover.
This was a Blissful Romance.