salt water roads (2022)

These roads hold more weight  
than they should
drenched in salt and fear
and daytime panic attacks
 
Purgatory leaves me breathless  
I don't belong here
I shouldn't be here  
I don't want to be here  
 
But home isn't four walls
and solid ground  
it takes more than that  
to make a home  
 
I am by definition homeless
I'm a life shoved into too many bags
I'm a heart that beats for yesterdays  
I'm what fate hasn't decided what to do with  
 
These roads become familiar  
the map burns itself into my soul
and becomes a permanent part of me  
I can't change what was bled here