Me and Bobby...

Dedicated to sharadejahan

I have a deep fear of others...
touching me specifically.  It
doesn't matter what the intent.
I live with it.  Don't approach from
behind or quickly from any direction.

I'm sorry, but I have been like this
my entire life and I always will be
this way. I cringe, shudder or fight.
My fear includes an irrational belief
that others are nearby to harm me.

I don't think it is irrational considering
my past.  I can't just get over my
entire life.  It doesn't work like that!
Perhaps I should write a book to
analyze the silly therapists?

I decide to masturbate.  I want an
exploding orgasm.  I want my legs
to shake and I want a gush of wetness
So powerful I can smell the scent!
I have to plan it out thoroughly!

I decide to do this in my bedroom
closet as there are no windows and
just one door.  Two trips are needed
to carry everything I will need.  
I lay out my sleeping bag and pillow.

To the left of my pillow is my robe.
In case I must jump up and run.
To the right of my pillow is my
largest sharpest knife. I won't ever
be cornered and attacked again!

I have done this once before - actually
quite successfully.  So I want to recreate
the scenario.  For safety I previously
installed two deadbolts on the inside
of the closet.  I am nearly ready.

My radio will drown out the little noise...
a Janis Joplin cassette is my atmosphere.
I am naked and I have my favorite toy!
A wand that resembles a microphone.
I can't deal with a penis shape!

I have to start slow and mentally get
situated. I breathe in and out as Janis
takes me back with her last hit:
Mercedes-Benz.  I wet my finger and lightly
touch my clit.  I circle it. My body warms.

The next song is Bobby Mcgee. I imagine
A boy from 4th grade named Bobby.  I picture
him growing up to my age (despite him
really dying at age 10).  He gets to for a moment
have the 35 years he was denied and...

Just "maybe" he pops his cherry!  "You
gave me your lunch once in school
when I hadn't eaten in three days. You
will always matter to me!"  I'm talking
to him as I picture him smiling!

He likes my eyes.  He says I look soft
and smell so pretty (I never smelled
pretty in school).  My finger is wet and I
gently continue a bit faster. I slide my
finger inside myself.  I am warm. I tingle!

I won't think of the nasty words for
my parts while trying to enjoy myself.
I tell Bobby he can touch my booby as
I grab my left one with my right hand.
My left hand slides the vibe lower!

"Is that your finger, Bobby?" My vibe
touches my clit but I haven't turned
it on yet.  He nods and in the pitch black
closet I see the glow of my created
fully grown and well hung apparition.

You can put your fingers on my naughty.
It's ok because I give you permission.
Always have permission!
My vibe is on 1.  The vibe is Bobby's
imaginary fingers.  Three are inside.

Bobby moves them from slit to clit.
Slit to clit.  Slit to clit. Slit to clit.  I
Have upped the speed to 2.  I put the
vibe just inside as Bobby moves his
fingers in and out.  I go to speed 3...

Bobby is using his tongue as I furiously
rub the nub with my entire hand.  I
feel it coming.  I feel ME coming and
my fingers are actually splashing in
my juices.  "It feels so good Bobby!"

I come.  I feel the orgasm in my entire
body.  Some are like that.  Most are
weak. Scenario matters.  I tell Bobby
he can get inside me as i slide one
finger in.  Bobby has a tiny dick.

Finishing up.  5 short thrusts and Bobby
is done and I de-age him and put him
away in my memory box.  What is that?
I'll tell you all another time!  Bobby
waves as fades away.

I'm thirsty.  A large glass of cranberry juice
hits the spot as grand as Bobby hit
my other spot! I blot my juices and then
pee and I blot again.  ALWAYS PEE AFTER
SEX!  All is consensually good today!