what do you do when everything is grey

For today I've cried enough
And for tomorrow there's some cheese in the fridge
The tarot card I've drawn
Tells me to accept my situation and stop resisting
Only then I would see the solution
It was the hanged
The doctor I've fallen in love with is playing banjo
There's twelve other people around him playing the fiddle, bass, guitar and some more banjo  
I'm holding onto my beer and two or three months ago he introduced himself with "Shaun, like the sheep"
and that's exactly how their music sounds like
I wish I felt the way the music sounds like but there's pain in my chest, there's pain in my boyfriends chest and there's also pain in the doctors chest
I wish I could take their pain away but theirs must be heavier and my shoulders probably look stronger than they are