Reflect

I'm running scared, feel so much remorse for the things I have caused, the pain I have inflicted onto those who love me greatly, how foolish I feel. I feel weak, like I can't keep on keeping on, yet I need to. For me, for you, for us. Things affect me so insanely, when they shouldn't at all. Yet I let them tear me to the bone, cut me up deep inside. I'm exhausted, need a helping hand, but I push that hand away, like it doesn't matter, when in reality, deep within it matters so much to me. A loss for words, a time of need, depression strikes me down like the mighty hand of God; relentlessly beating me to no end. I’m weak and weary, mental explosion, burning all my bridges, as if the weight of the world is on my shoulders, in my mind. I take on too much, don't let go of all the shame and hurt, agony killing me, pain making me feel so numb. Keeping my distance from the one whom I admire and adore greatly, if I continue on like this I will lose everything... even who I have become. Why can't I pull myself out of this great depression?