deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Painful Train Ride
On the LIRR to Penn Station
Hot
Thick
I can smell myself
The floor is covered with garbage
I see a girl on the platform when we stop at the next town
I wish
I wish I could lift myself from this seat and touch her
I don't want to break her arm though
Do you want to know me?
My pain would crush your rib cage
I could love you
I wish I could stop running
Hot
Thick
I can smell myself
The floor is covered with garbage
I see a girl on the platform when we stop at the next town
I wish
I wish I could lift myself from this seat and touch her
I don't want to break her arm though
Do you want to know me?
My pain would crush your rib cage
I could love you
I wish I could stop running
Published 4th Dec 2024
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likes 3
reading list entries 1
comments 6
reads 141
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
4th Dec 2024 6:58pm
the lines are short yet heavy in there .. could feel the weighing down pain that’s so immense & aching .. towards gentleness of touch of love. feels a lightness a liberation in those last few verses despite the infused heaviness.. different read for me, I meant your style. thanks .
4th Dec 2024 7:08pm
Thank you Summultima. I appreciate your read & feedback. Thank you!
5th Dec 2024 4:21am
5th Dec 2024 10:31am
coming back again to this write, the one i read of yours first here Keith, this is strong yet gentle & has so many conflicts that yet trying to run parallel or convergence .. so many beautiful feathery softness feel of touch of ache . layered striking with the crushing heaviness . this is a beautiful write from a strong pen of yours!
5th Dec 2024 9:13pm
