Unearthed

My mind is screaming, merely mimicking my lost design
my heart is bleeding, memories of a dissolved time
With the scorned child, I thought gone
the next stage of life has now begun
 
Feeling lost in my own doom
I am trapped, surrounded
Crowded within this room
screaming at the top of my shattered lungs
Not a single soul wavers
no one bothered to look up
 
They walk right through my scattered limbs
Leaving behind their muddy scuffs
And on top of my punctured ribs, they stand
As if designated to their blind feet
This decaying plot of land
Porous and indented
with rubber soles imprinted
The substance of my being, ignored
My torso became fused with the floor
 
My arm stretced outright
Palms exposed, beseeching the sky
Grasping for any signs of life
Suspicious of my own existence
Raping my own mind with questions
But no plea, no cry, no sorrowful why,
Passed through my lips are ever heard
Never acknowledged, not a single word

No value in me
Do others see
So I find myself in the dirt
Questioning my own existence
And it was in this very instance
Because the thought, that I do not
was so Persistent
I prove to myself I exist
Because where else
but one's self
Would an owned thought live
So self I have, no matter how distant
 
Self equals existence
But does it prove that I live
what is life but the execution of one's mind
Thinking about it and then creating into time
So just maybe my problem does not lie
in the acknowledgment that I can not find
But in the value I have placed within it
And through my childish eyes
I view myself with the value I was given
 
In this narrow view I have, I see not
The value in myself or my thoughts
Thus with time into reality I create loss
Now the question has changed
and the new question raised
is how do I find value in something
where previously no value was placed
Who I am need to be reappraised
 
My innocent eyes so naive  
Gaged my worth
By how, I had been told to see
Deep beneath, the blackened mud
I forsake the view  
That I am not enough
Into the dirt, I’ll stir the lime  
Burying the self-doubt, that clings inside
compacting the soil, into stable ground
I turned myself from inside to out  
the strength to love, that unloved child
I struggled, but finally found

Together we rise beyond the dirt
We trod a path, that is ours to claim
Hand in hand, upon the earth
A foundation we have finally laid
and the love that to myself I owed
with judgments ceased, were finally paid,  
I am no longer theirs to claim,  
for each stepping stone along the way,  
by strength of back, my hands have placed.  
Standing tall, Forever Changed.