Just Hang On

I feel the pleasure
to replace the pain
and is it just a crutch
to survive?

It has been a tough go
this year,
this week

My spirit lost
in the thickness
of mounting issues
to deal with
and of course,
I want to escape
from it
this medicated heart
trying to pump enough
to pull through
the tension
to find value
in persevering
even if
if it is lonely as hell

I'm trying to see
that there is something more
beyond the quicksand
that is trying to pull me under
when I have to claw out

People depend on me
not out of love
but out of expectation
and in complicated situations
there is little I can do
but try to find some hope
in a spirit outside myself

I guess it's a start.