The Prisoner

I'm a soldier/
shields up when one draws closer/ a don't care persona/ and yet still sober/
I still feel young but I'm still getting older
Among people and yet still a loner/
I'm functional but still need a doner
I'm a son brother and also father
I have a wife on speed dial but too hesitant to call her
My blessed assurance is the medals on my collar
Also being able to come home and make it rain with coins and dollars
even though I shower and water hits my head instead of feeling alive inwardly I'm still dead
I have a woman I once knew laying in my bed
She utters mental whispers that she'd rather be without me instead
I went from Knight in shining armor and King to a man she dreads
Even though she cries due to pain and demand remorse/ in truth she wants me to beg
and pay my debt/
being forever shackled while befriending regret/ for an unforgettable perspective of me has been tattooed in my mind/
because the woman I love continues to see me guilty of my crimes/
So much so that I'm like a diseases she trying to hide/
be with me out in public, no she'd rather die
Smiling upfront to friends and family next to me/ but at home she goes and cries
no matter the penance and love I show she doesn't change
Does it really pay in being the good guy
I want to fly but I have a weight around my neck
I might as well stay grounded for when I try to break loose
the "jailer" deflects/ I want to be free but the "jailer" laughs as if I'm a jest
I know this isn't a game but man I wish I had a way to reset/
Instead of a reset I have a recess from me facing the guilt of my crimes
that only lasts for a short space/ clinging on to the since of freedom I experience before its again misplaced
Pleading to the judge that I've done my time so why wont the judge drop the case/
The judge looks at me and says because whether you accept it or not/ this is your fate/
Another song of blame but in a different version/ I'm at a point where in my life where my salvation will have to come from a divine incursion
Its funny how benevolence can only be a diversion to imprison someone
I'm the fool that became deceived into this hell
I guess at least I'm lucky cause I am alive with a story to tell
Words from the wise: before you decide to be vulnerable and come out of your shell
Make sure you check the cup given to you before you assume its a holy grail
and you look up and realize that your freedom is now long sailed