Does it ever really end?

I'm not going to say i don't miss you,
Everything's subject to change.
And I know now that you didn't trust me,
So I have carried that every day.
Mm mm hmm.
Everything back then was so blissful,
Too bad i was going insane.
And i shouldn't have made it an issue,
But i wanted some help with the pain.
(Help me)
If you move on thats fine enough to me.
(Move on)
But I've held on these rights and wrongs.
Its not easy being around me,
I break like some film in the rain.
Fools say depression is healing,
Depression was never my friend.
Darling, if you don't care thats fine enough to me.
But I've been filling my time to run from what i need.
Mmm.
They say that there are seven stages.
For me its more like seventeen.
Grieving my losses takes ages and ages and on somebody i needed to lean.
I didnt have what i needed to tell you,
My past just has too many graves.
(I blame)
If you don't hear thats fine enough to me.
(Myself)
I just had a sharpened jab at memories.

I would have waited a little bit longer.
(My hands are guilty)
My trust ends so very far out.
(But now i just doubt)
Just dont kick me when I'm already down or,
(Dont run from me baby)
You might just really find out.
(Im just lost in this dark cloud)
My love, you were caught in the crossfire.
(Dont take away sunshine)
I never wanted to cut you out.
(I withered away)
So don't do whatever you think will-
(Regardless of shame babe)
Get me out of my hell I'm too far in to ever get out.
(Im no longer unable to explain)

I cant just say that i miss you,
It wouldn't be enough.
Do i still say that i love you?
Even if you run from fixing our lack of trust.
I have always looked outside.
I will always seek improvement.
Even if you have had enough,
Well, that wont stop me.
 I am breaking my ties, ending the time wasting details.
Walk in the light, a hope past our time I'm not wasting
Anymore...
Not wasting.
Anything.
Freedom comes in waves so i will wave you goodbye.
I needed a small break so i could break out of the shadows.
Sometimes you need to lose it all to realize its all a gift.
Sometimes you need someone to call your shots to make you aware you are still alive.