SUBCONSCIOUS  INNER SKETCHINGS BEYOND THE VEILS OF MASKLESS TIME    (4:00am, 8-17-2001; Galveston Island, Texas)

stirred up from out of
stone deep sleep
i suddenly find myself
somewhere between
still half asleep
and half awake
stumbling through
three rooms of darkness
to quench my body s
inner call of thirst
which lured me up
from out of my now already
unremembered dreams
into this present limbo
of silent blankness
everywhere all around me
with my eyes still lightly closed
my bare feet carefully feel
each softly carpeted step
as i make my braille like way
through this nocturnal darkness
externally surrounding me now
and here within me as well
to try and avoid
stepping on either of
my two  black cats
sleeping somewhere unseen
along my wee hour
zombie like path to my kitchen
to drink an invisible glass of water
i filled and left in my fridge
earlier this night
before i went to bed
in pre anticipation
of just such a possible
and likely occasion
as i quickly took and drank in
seven  slow  deep swallows
of life s most vital
sacred  healing
life giving waters
which satisfied my thirst enough
soothing drink
with eyes still closed
water now inside my innermost darkness
within this outer darkness as well
my mind not thinking at all
only aware of my present state
of silent blindness here now
to which i respond
by only slightly opening my eyes
just enough
to grab my little writing tablet
i keep with a pen by my bed
to drag it s pages
one at a time
back and forth
like a net
open and empty
through distant  deeper  inner currents
constantly flowing through my head
a simple  physical screen
to cast and catch and filter out
such minute  inner  micro plankton
of inner thoughts and feelings translated into
all these
all my
seemingly never ending
spontaneously languaged spills
of subliminal stirrings therein
as my pen in hand slowly trawls in
whatever moonlight it can
as it quietly beams and falls
through my open  bedroom window
to only faintly illumine
and help make more legible
though still barely visible
dark shadow line s  scratchily flowing  inky trail
flowing out freely from the tip of my pen s
mysterious but innately natural
creatively expressive dance
as it dances it s hyper erratic
scratch mark s varying textures
across the ghostly  pale  white surface
of each and every
thin  rectangular
blank canvas  sheet of paper
patiently waiting  off in the unseen  peripheral wings
hungrily awaiting to receive and record
down into physically manifested form
whatever tales  stories
multi dimensional  abstract impressions
songs  word paintings or poems they can
to simply create and provide
for myself  for anyone
for everyone
or perhaps even
for no one at all
these hopefully more visually
more tangible and readable
physical artifacts
to leave behind  me here
long after i myself am gone
no longer here in this my current
lifetime s 3 d   only temporal
present being s physical form
like a skittering polygraph needle
or like a seismographic needle s
zig zag  sharp angular tracings
picked up from subtle nerve impulse s
electrical fingerprint signature s
of earth s innermost rumblings
released in the essence
of  in and with each and every
of my freely arisen
newly spilled words
in erratically dynamic
but still somewhat poetic
kinetic fluctuations
of electromagnetic energy
or like the jagged horizon line scratches
made and left by an e k g needle
when electrodes are sensing
troubled inner rhythms  of the heart
troubled rhythms express themselves
in many forms
yet the lines of ink
that leave my pen
are often as vague  fragile and thin
as black spiderwebs
spun and strewn out stretched
across each and every dim lit page
making them even more similarly like
the naturally beautiful
thin  linear  organic tracings
created by the dancing tips
of countless blades of dancing beach grass
leaving their concentric patterns
in wind blown  carved circles
circles sketched out in hot sand
both by intensely strong
and delicately soft and gentle
gulf coast breaths of salty breezes and winds
yet along with something else unseen
though often times sensed and felt
much greater  mysterious  profound
ineffable force beyond
more deeply expressed within
the resonant  rippling side effects
of creator s creation creating
in infinitely fractaling ways
the constantly ever evolving continuum
of what and of everything
it itself experientially as this creation also feels
with radiant joy  love  light and beauty
extending vibrationally out and in
through and throughout us all
and everything that is
and exists within
all the intangible grace and beauty
of this oneness s transcendent truth
in and of this inseparable  higher consciousness s
eventual  inevitable
more fully awakened oneness awareness
of and with everything
with all that is herein
within and of the even greater
great mystery s
true eventual return
hopefully for us all someday
one day ahead
but preferably sooner
than later
up until and whenever
our present global
no longer sustainable at all
completely disconnected
so called reality s
unawakened  still sleeping mass s
self destructive  all destructive
mad ego mind driven agendas
hopefully  will soon all begin
to finally all wind down
whenever my sleep s deeper tides
may ever begin to suddenly rise up higher
here within me again
to re quicken and trigger
my second transformational
spiritual re awakening
to come and so sweetly reclaim me
to come and steal me away
one day  someday
from our collective species
now increasingly struggling
rampantly failing  rapidly dying
old  so called reality s
deadly toxic paradigm
which i saw in a dream
i had earlier tonight
but which i ve also long seen
experienced and known
throughout almost every day
and year of my life
until just now that is
whereupon that mere thought
it now suddenly seems as if
all my most recently arisen
subconscious impression s
restless  disturbing feelings and thoughts
have now at last begun to wind down
as sleep s deeper tides
now seem and appear
to have so quietly come back around
to rise  reclaim and release me
yet once again here tonight
where the still sleeping world
outside my bedroom window s
late night  wee hour
unexpected
nocturnal calling to me here
which now seems to be slowly
lapsing  fading and sinking away
while the much larger  external world out there
still remains separate and totally detached from me
as it s muted  soft  grave like darkness
now so mindlessly  so thoughtlessly
sweeps over and through me
releasing me more fully
back into and through
the newly re quickened
higher consciousness awareness
entirety of my eternal
spirit and soul s true being
now being so quickly
swept off and away
returning me back into
more mindless  more thoughtless
deep  restful sleep again
back into completely unconscious
sweet  blessed erasure
once more
as my pen gently slips
from my unconscious grip
falling silently down
through the darkness
without a sound to be heard at all
by anyone in this world
not even by me
as it falls like a burnt out dream rocket
down to the carpeted floor below
for i am set free here at last
so blessedly gone
released and returned again
back into the boundless depths
of that merciful  ever mysterious
timeless  formless void
of transformational
higher vibrational
transitioning again
at least it presently seems
and feels that way to me
that is
at least until
i awaken again
sometime
tomorrow
morning