deepundergroundpoetry.com
behavior health
sadly the music plays
within my soul who dances to it
an aching refrain and I can sympathise
sweet and painful memories
tears stain my face
hold me will you
I'm unsure if I could make it on my own
I'm still pretty enough to attract
but smart enough to know it's better if I don't
keening my grief fully realized
I am nobodies girl, not even my own
cause when things get too rough
my soul checks out
and my memories go with her
where I go I don't know
usually, I get back just in 'time
to know I'm back in the psych ward
with no one to give a damn
my husband sent me there
so he could fuck around
on vacation, he didn't visit
with my mental triggers
it doesn't take long
before people treat it like a game
there is no place for me really
here in California they could give a rat ass about the mentally ill
you are treated like a criminal
though I did nothing wrong
delusional sure but not bothering anyone
sheriffs dragged me off in handcuffs to the hospital
to be treated like shit there to
people have failed me it would take just an ounce of sympathy
there's no way I'd choose another man
just to have another heartbreak
hurting alone that goes for all of us
people sympathize but it's your burden to bear
sadness aches and I with it
looking around me at the people I can't connect with
and I love them but truth is I'm alone
facing that I could be utterly lonely and empty if they died
I don't have the confidence of someone who can go off alone
my mental health cancels out most of it what independence I would have
my mind gets really bad even with meds
it's 2024 and the mentally ill are treated like criminals
just the name behavior health where they threaten your freedom
you can be as crazy as you want but don't do anything odd
I work really hard to be normal to not let anyone know what's up
I release my pain here because it's just too much to bear
you guys can hate me I don't have to see your faces
and writing helps keep my anxiety and delusions in line
it was the whole reason I started here all those years ago
Published 9th Sep 2024
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 7
reading list entries 2
comments 11
reads 82
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
9th Sep 2024 5:39am
Dear B,
The heartbreaking reality of this is too much to bear let alone i don’t even know what else. Your raw accounting of your experiences are so poignant. Your writing them out is as fine a talent as I’ve ever seen. Do Not Stop.
H🌷
The heartbreaking reality of this is too much to bear let alone i don’t even know what else. Your raw accounting of your experiences are so poignant. Your writing them out is as fine a talent as I’ve ever seen. Do Not Stop.
H🌷
9th Sep 2024 2:58pm
good morning beautiful Honoria thank you for being here and for your understanding heart a lot of people would say I wouldn't put up with that with the people around me but if left choosing the alternative you would I just spent time in the hospital nobody came to visit any of the patients there and there was a lady there worse off than me they were cruel to her I felt bad on my release date because apparently, she had been there a while I was worried if she would be okay...I just don't understand treating people with an illness that way and nobody wants to talk about it... You're brave for commenting it means a lot thank you again lovely lady for listening 💕
9th Sep 2024 11:26am
I still remember how a lot of friends and family treated me after I was diagnosed with mental illnesses and hospitalized for 8 months. Of course I do not know your exact struggles, as we are all individuals with our own unique thoughts and personalities, but I do understand struggling with mental illness in general. So many sharing that much will remind you in those troubling times that your not totally alone.
9th Sep 2024 3:07pm
good morning dearest Thor I have been struggling with if since I was kid my mom was schizophrenic she didn't raise me I was diagnosed schizophrenic and have been in and out of the ward for years now my longest stay was three months my son has it too he was in there for a year...it's very painful illness as you know my anxiety gets turned up which hurts then the delusions begin and that is scar cause try to hold on but fighting with mind about what is real is very difficult and some people find that amusing...I deeply appreciate you sharing your story with mei it gives me courage thank you 💕
9th Sep 2024 12:15pm
Felt your words, it's often been said writing is therapeutic and sometimes a pain release
9th Sep 2024 3:17pm
hello good morning it is a very helpful too it releases some of my anxiety and helps me stay more stable thank you for reading and leaving a thoughtful comment 💕
9th Sep 2024 3:33pm
The elders say that what doesn't kill you only makes you that much stronger than you think for thyself with courage and perseverance and raw and uncut intelligence and spiritual subconsciousness of awakening the mind and heart and spiritual soul 🙏.
🪬 SHAMAN 🪬
🪬 SHAMAN 🪬
9th Sep 2024 6:58pm
good morning dearest Stoney thank you my friend for such a thoughtful and encouraging comment 💕
9th Sep 2024 7:36pm
I wrote a piece about mental health which affects the deepness of the truth of the darkness that can happen to anyone of us in different ways mentally emotionally and physically and spiritually others sometimes folks don't want to know that it's hard just trying to survive in a relationship with someone else who knows that people are struggling with the deepness of the truth of the ldamage that we go through in their own personal life 🙏. PTSD IS MINE AS A VETERAN SO I UNDERSTAND ALL TO WELL 😲🤨✍️ THAT IS WHY I WRITE TO RELEASE THE POWER OF THE MIND AND THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS 🙏
🪬 SHAMAN 🪬
🪬 SHAMAN 🪬
9th Sep 2024 7:14pm
'' I am nobodies girl, not even my own ''
The self-awareness is still intact...
That's a good foundation to start from
Much respect
Naaj
The self-awareness is still intact...
That's a good foundation to start from
Much respect
Naaj
9th Sep 2024 7:24pm
hello Soul Soldier don't get me wrong I don't give up fight these feeling and the voices in my mind its just the things they tell me about people a lot of times are true then my anger gets ignited I do my best just to ignore things and that works for a while until the voices get pissed tellin me I'm looking stupid and to deal with the problems or they will I know it's hard to believe but it's and really I rather not be told stuff about people you know ignorance is bliss kind of thing thank you for caring enough to leave a thoughtful comment...💕
