Hidden Island Chapter 32, part 3 of 4

Hidden Island
Chapter 32, part 3 of 4

"No." Caine sighed at Tonya's subtle look of rejection. "Well, yes, and that's the problem. This isn't normal."

"I think I should be offended," Tonya said. There was no venom or humor in her words. Just resignation. "Wanting me is completely normal."

"Not for me," Caine shrugged.

"I'm offended," Tonya sighed.

"It isn't personal," Caine tried to reassure her.

"I know," she nodded sadly. It occurred to her that she did know. She believed him entirely and even felt like she understood what he was trying to say underneath the bluntness of his phrasing. How he thought about her was troubling because it made him feel like he wasn't in control. She gave him a small smile. "This is important to you. It isn't just the weird feelings.

It's not knowing why."

Caine chuffed out a mirthless laugh. "You're spending too much time around Janie."

"What, I'm wrong? Sorry." Tonya said, chagrinned.

"No, you're right. That's exactly it," Caine shrugged. "I don't think these feelings are natural. I think it's something that happened to me with that ritual."

Tonya looked incredulous. "When I blew up Bella's alcove, you think I made you all... lusty about me?"

"Something like that," Caine nodded, knowing how stupid it sounded.

"Do you think it might have done something to me too?" Tonya asked.

Caine shrugged. "No idea. Magic is weird. What do you think it did to you?"

"I can't fucking come!" Tonya erupted, all her frustration spilling out of her all at once. Caine felt something strange in his chest like something was pulling the breath from his lungs.

Fatigue hit him abruptly. Tonya kicked her heels into the mattress and pounded it with her tiny fists as she threw her head back into the pillow. With a sudden crack and poof and a small yelp from Tonya, the bedframe snapped, and the mattress burst, throwing feathers everywhere.

Caine didn't have time to think. A mild shockwave hit him like a powerful gust of wind. He took two steps into the room on instinct but stopped as soon as he realized there was no lasting danger. He waved in front of his face, trying to clear the feathers. He watched as the bedframe slowly finished cracking. It sunk in the middle, lowering the broken center of the frame to the floor and turning the whole bed into a shallow V shape. The burst mattress partially swallowed Tonya, and the sinking bed folded her so that her arms and legs would stick up awkwardly.

"What?" Tonya gasped. "What the hell was that?" She sneezed as the feathers tried to settle on her face.

"You broke the bed," Caine deadpanned, his voice full of confusion and disbelief.

"Aaaaugh!" Tonya yelled, thrashing her arms and legs ineffectively before letting them go limp.

She was stuck in the wreckage of the bed and exhausted. "What is wrong with me?"

Caine stepped in and offered her a hand. She took it, and he gently pulled her out of the mattress, sending more feathers swirling through the air. They felt something like a swell between them as their hands touched. Caine's breath caught in his chest, and a tingle ran over him as she ran her fingertips up his spine. His sudden erection was uncomfortable and surprising. He let go like he'd been burned.

"Wah!" Tonya yelped as she fell back into the ruined mattress, sending even more feathers into the air. She was breathing heavily like she was winded. "What? What is going on?"

Caine looked at his hand, then at her, and slowly reached for her again. She hesitantly took his hand. He didn't pull her. They held each other's fingertips gently and stared confused into each other's eyes as they felt a strange pulling sensation flowing out of Tonya and into Caine.

The strange fatigue he'd felt earlier lifted somewhat, and Tonya lay her head back, rubbing her face and swooning. "Damn, I'm exhausted. What did you do?"

"I don't think I did anything," Caine said.

"Well, it isn't me," Tonya shook her head gently. She yawned and started coughing and spitting as feathers swirled into her mouth.

The strange feeling passing between them seemed to equalize. The connection was still there, but nothing was flowing at the moment. Tonya pulled a bit, prompting Caine to help her up. She wiped her mouth and picked out the last feather as she got to her feet. "I'm so tired."

She leaned against him, barely able to stand. Her eyes drooped. Standing up was all she could manage.

Caine had no idea what to think. The whole situation was absurd. They were both covered in feathers. He felt great all of a sudden, and she was barely conscious.

"Bath," she said quietly, pointing to the door, then letting her arm drop to her side again.

Caine sighed, scooped up her tiny body, and carried her out of the room.

"Get out!" Belita yelled as the door opened.

"Nope," Danica said, walking in and shutting the door behind her.

"I said leave!" Belita snarled, pushing herself halfway up into an unsteady, angry crouch.

"And I said no," Danica shrugged. She walked over and sat down against the wall next to the Captain. "Part of my job is to tell you no when you need it. Right now, it would be best if you had it. What's going on?"

"Insubordinate... I'm going the" Belita couldn't find the words.

"What? Lock me up? Whip me? Hang me?" Danica prompted. "Then who will run your ship while you're drunk in the middle of the day?"

"Fuck ye," Belita glared.

"Fuck me," Danica asked, a hint of anger seeping into her voice. "We're isolated. We have a busted hull, limited supplies, half the crew is injured, the noble we're carting around is pissed off, and you're in here drinking yourself stupid and crying!"

"I just need some time," Belita snarled.

"We don't have time! None of us do!" Danica barked. "The longer we're stuck on this island, the more likely we are to die here. Even if we don't die, the more likely it is that if we manage to get out to sea again, Morant will decide to cut his losses! You know what happens then?"

"Yes," Belita shook her head. "I cannae do it."

"The fuck you can't," Danica glared.

"I cannae!" Belita repeated. "I buggered this up past salvage! I never should have taken this job. We're barely on our way, and I've already gotten us shipwrecked. A dozen dead already.

How are we ever going to make it through the Drifts? This is a cursed voyage."

"Yup," Danica agreed.

"Oh, fuck ye," Belita spat again.

"What, do you want me to try to convince you otherwise? Sounds like you got the situation pretty well figured out." Danica put her hands behind her head and relaxed. "Things are bad.

Some of it is your fault, but most is just bad luck. Are you going to wallow in it or lead us out?"

"I got us into this. I'm nae fit tae get us out," Belita swallowed, tears welling in her eyes again.

"Then we are fucked, because you're the only one who can," Danica said with a shrug.

"Ye'll do just fine. Ye got Reeve tae help ye," Belita shook her head.

Danica laughed and looked at the Captain like she was mad. Danica laughed and looked at the Captain like she was mad. "Reeve! You think this crew, your crew, is going to follow Reeve?! That man's terrifying! You know that, right? He's one hell of a sailor who knows how to get the job done but leads through fear. He makes a good bosun for you because you can counter that with inspiration and not let him push too far, but you've heard the stories of his ship. You want the Kestrel to turn into that?"

"At least we'd all be alive," Belita said bitterly.

"Is that what this is?" Danica asked, turning to face her friend. "Yeah. People died. A lot of people. Some were crew that had been with us years, some we barely knew, and they died on our watch. It isn't perfect. It hurts like hell, and we're burying them tonight, and the whole crew is going to need you to help them get through it."

"I can't even get myself through it," Belita said. "I've never lost this many. Those fucking monsters."

"That's what you have me for," Danica said. "And Coleman and Will. We're your officers. Our job is to help you through the things you can't do alone. So let us help?"

"I cannae see the horizon on this one," Belita said. "I'm gonna get all of ye killed."

"That's life on board a ship," Danica put her arm around the Captain's shoulders. "We can't always see where we're going. We get through it together."

"I'm not who you think I am, Danni," Belita said quietly.

"I know," Danica nodded.

Belita froze. "You know?"

"Of course. You came out of nowhere—a fully formed legend that spread like wildfire and one adventure after another. I was swept up in it at first, and I was the same as everyone else. It's why I joined you. Eventually, I started seeing the gaps though. No one had sailed with you before about seven years ago. You're not old, so someone must have remembered you before you were a captain. You had to have started somewhere. A navigator, a bosun, a quartermaster. Someone had to have known who you sailed with before, but no one did.

Before you were Captain of the Kestrel, you were someone else."

Belita leaned away, studying Danica's face in the dim lantern light. "You knew? And you didn't say anything?"

"Actions speak louder than words. I didn't need to know who you were before to know you were the best Captain I'd ever sailed with. By the time I figured it out, you were also my friend.

I didn't see the use in ever bringing it up. You wouldn't be the first sailor to take to the seas to escape their past."

Belita laughed like she was trying not to cry. "Ye are too damn smart, ye know that?"

"Go on," Danica smirked.

"Ye always see the gaps, the holes in the stories, the things gone missing. It's one hell of a gift. Wish I had it," Belita smiled.

"If you had it, you wouldn't need me," Danica grinned.

"I've cocked this right up, haven't I?" Belita sighed. "I thought it was out of my system last night, but it returned this morning with a vengeance. I can't shake feeling like a failure."

"Nobody knows but me," Danica said. "Oh, and Bella. You owe her a pretty big apology, by the way."

The Captain's eyes went wide. "Bella? How does she know? What did I do?"

"She came in earlier. You scared the daylights out of her," Danica said.

"Is that who that was? I didn't even look," Belita groaned. "Poor lass."

"Poor lass is right. She started having... I don't even know what to call it. Do you remember

DeCoin? His night terrors and how he'd be after he woke up?"

"Aye," Belita nodded. "Near unresponsive for a while. Locked in his head with fear. Music helped him."

"Bella was like that," Danica explained.

Captain Vex's eyes went wide. "Because of me?"

"The Doctor says it's because of stuff she went through a long time ago, and it's been brought back because of last night. Now, things like being yelled at make her shut down like DeCoin did," Danica explained.

Belita groaned. "I dinna mean to... Dammit."

"Just talk to her. I don't think she will hold a grudge," Danica squeezed Belita slightly.

"Of all the bad luck and bad decisions that got us here, I have to go and add 'upset a witch' to the list." Belita rubbed her hands across her face.

"How about we start by fixing that, then move on to surviving the jungle?" Danica suggested.

Belita nodded and stood up. Her legs were unsteady from sitting against the wall for so long, and the rum in her veins didn't help. She took a step in the direction of where her mirror used to be, then stopped. "Dammit." She turned around. "How do I look?"

"Ragged, just like the rest of us," Danica shrugged.

"Guess it doesn't matter,' Belita shook her head. She was usually obsessed with her appearance and the impression she left on people. Right now, she didn't care. Somehow, in this situation, that feeling was empowering.

"Nope," Danica smiled. "Let's go."

He didn't even bother getting undressed. He kicked off his boots and walked into the steaming hot spring with Tonya's sleeping form cradled in his arms.

Feathers rinsed them off and started floating away in the water as he stepped deeper in until the water took Tonya's weight and left him barely lifting her. He found the nearest ledge and sat. She curled against his shoulder and sighed happily.

The water was soothing and hot. Caine didn't come here often. He wasn't a fan of bathing in public, and while the hot springs weren't open to customers, they were always public to the people who lived there. Tension began to flow out of him, and he wondered why he didn't do this more often.

"S'nice," Tonya muttered.

"You alright?" Caine asked. Her tiny body felt good in his arms. He wanted to take care of her and keep her safe. He also wanted to fuck her until they both collapsed. He scowled, wondering where those thoughts kept coming from. He transferred her weight to one arm and used the other to adjust his uncomfortable erection.

Tonya took advantage of being moved to tilt her head, kiss his neck, and then his jaw. He froze, feeling like he should stop her but unable to make himself say the words.

"You're so nice to me," Tonya said sleepily.

Caine sighed, exasperated at the situation but not knowing what to say.

"Stop it," she said, feebly thumping her fingers into his chest just above the water. "You pretend you're a big grump, but you love us all and take care of us."

"I am a big grump," Caine said half-heartedly.

"Only 'cause it keeps everyone away. 'Cept me," Tonya said into his neck. "I'm inside now."

Caine sighed. "That's not good. I can't play favorites."

"Guess you'll have to let everyone else in too, 'cause I ain't letting you push me away," Tonya kissed his neck again.

Caine tipped his head back against the smooth stone walls of the hot spring. He couldn't remember the last time he felt so conflicted. He was used to occasionally being at odds with himself. He was usually of two minds about everything, but usually, those minds agreed in principle. This felt different. Tonya was different and had no idea what to do about it.

He let his breath deepen and sink into himself, opening his mind and shedding his bodily sensations like he'd practiced so many times. The heat and comfort of the spring made it even easier than usual.

He stepped out of himself and into the swirling mists of the Ways Between. Then, his golden counterpart followed. They stood next to each other, sharing a glance before focusing their respective gazes on the scene before them. He held a half-asleep, nude, beautiful young witch. Her head rested on his shoulder, and her arms wrapped around his neck. Her face was contented and trusting.

"You aren't worried about drowning?" his golden counterpart asked.

"We're both right here. We can see her. And ourselves," Caine shrugged. "I'm more worried about... everything else. What the hell do we do about this?"

"I have no idea. This sort of thing isn't exactly in my realm of experience," his glowing clone answered.

"Mine either," Caine sighed.

"Oh, come now," his counterpart laughed. "I know you've been through this sort of thing before. You have children."

"A lifetime ago, before you," Caine countered.

"Several lifetimes ago," the other Caine agreed. "My arrival can't have erased your memory, thought."

"Having kids doesn't mean you know what the hell you're doing," Caine shook his head. "This emotional bullshit was never my strong suit. That's why I left it behind. I fucked it up badly. I don't want to put her through that."

"So you do care," the other Caine said with a knowing smile.

"I do. She's right. I care about all of them. Her especially, now. No idea why, though," Caine scowled. "You must admit, this isn't like us at all."

"No, it isn't." The other Caine walked around the still pair in front of them, walking on the water's surface, casting a golden glow across the grey ripples and through the mists. "That doesn't mean it is a bad thing, though."

"I just want to know what it is," Caine said, frustrated.

"We talked about this," his other half said. "Go see Alexandra."

"I was hoping not to have to do that,' Caine rolled his eyes.

Tonya lifted her head and looked at Caine's peaceful face. She smiled, then slowly adjusted herself until she was straddling him.

"Oh, she is getting ideas," his golden half smiled.

"Fuck," Caine groaned, stepping towards his body again.

His glowing twin put his hand on his shoulder. "Why stop her? Why not enjoy this?"

Caine gave his counterpart a surprised look. "Because last time we blew up the vestibule and nearly killed Janie."

"We were connected to a powerful source of energy at the time. It may be different. This is an opportunity to learn something," the other Caine insisted.

Caine gave his twin a critical look. "You know, for being born without a dick, you're horny."

The other Caine snorted derisively. "Born. Ha."

Tonya took Caine's head between her hands and tilted it towards her, looking at him lovingly.

She gently kissed him and said something they couldn't hear while in the Ways.

He was conflicted. Again. How had this girl so quickly managed to get inside his head? Was he being too stubborn? Well, yes. He was always too stubborn. He didn't like feeling like he didn't understand what was happening to him. He needed more information. Maybe his other half was right. Would it be so bad to give in to this? Perhaps they'd figure something out.

"Fine," Caine said flatly.

"Oh yes, complain more about the affection of a lovely young woman," his golden twin rolled his eyes, stepping forward on the opposite side.

Together, they stepped back into their body, and Caine opened his eyes. "What did you say?"


To be continued