Reflection of Me

I see a reflection but it’s not me.
Or at least not the man I’m destined to be.

This man has become doubtful and lifeless and hides the pain he feels behind false hopes and gullible illusion he set upon himself

He is the man I never thought I see
But there he is; staring right at me

With a smile on his face that lies with commitment

That could fool anyone else into thinking “yeah he’ll be fine”

But with a little bit more attention, you’ll see that the his smile is actually a frown

This man I see has lost his will to move forward. So he drowns himself in self pity and sorrow.

Looking to find the tiniest bit of happiness even if it’s borrowed.

Searching for the purpose of his existence. The meaning for it all. Whether if he will rise one day or continue to fall.

But this reflection is not me. It only mimics the idea of me.

It knows my thoughts, my fears, my hopes as well as my doubts. And uses them to keep me in a cycle of self loathing.  Holding them close to the point of breaking.

But this reflection is the idea of me, so it can’t be.
Atleast I hope it’s not.