The Perfect Crime

They were married for a very long time
Minimal love for one another
Both daydreamed about the perfect crime.

A poor swimmer she was at best
He thought of submerging her deep
An expeditious agonizing death.

He enjoyed her cooking and anything she made
She thought of poisoning his food
Wild Mushrooms, drain cleaners or a can of raid.

One day they went walking on the beach
The ocean was violent
Waves crashing within an arms reach

She made a picnic basket full of joy
Pie, sandwiches and soda
She said to him, here enjoy.

Turbulent waves inching up, dragging them down
He was able to stand
But she was pulled in and began to drown.

He waved goodbye as she disappeared beneath
His appetite grew
He said to himself, "alright, let's eat!"

He began eating the sandwich and then some apple pie
His stomach began to churn
Foaming from the mouth, convulsing until he died.

This story had a tragic ending but loads of fun to write
For those who want to eliminate their spouse, make sure it's done right.