Of Love, and Self-Sabotage.

 
 
It was here,  
I expected to write  
words of grandiose,
but instead, it seems  
they’re rather empty.
 
Or perhaps,  
it is I,  
who is empty.
 
And to be honest,  
I’m not quite sure  
what I feel anymore.
 
Exhausted, though,
 I fear it travels  
much deeper than that.
 
I rooted all of my hope,  
into this one place.
Then, seemingly out of no where,  
I dropped the match.
Everything burned,  
and I simply watched it.
 
Maybe if I had just stomped it out,
 I could have saved some of it.
 
Yet, I chose to sit in the chaos,
 I created, and isolate,
knowing you couldn’t  
reach me through the flames.  
 
I burned my city,
 and you along with it.
 
I apologize for that,  
though ‘sorry’ will never be good enough.
 
You were meant to be different.
I let you in, with different intentions.
Intentions, of keeping you close.
But now, I must mourn,
 for I have let you go,  
or at least that’s what I tell myself.
As it seems it was you,  
who escaped my grasp,  
and I mourn for who I let leave.
 
Though, I’ll remember  
what we used to be.
I’ll write the final chapter,  
add us to the story.
Tell of a love,  
that for once conquered my demons,  
a person, who filled a void  
that no one could in the past,
and pray, that perhaps  
the same feelings may be  
given to another,  
who isn’t afraid to let it last.