attraction

in mourning you I realize I'm beautiful
I have always felt awkward
I was born a beautiful child
with all the good genetics
but somewhere along the line things shifted

I felt uncomfortable being the center of attention because I was comely
I noticed looking back everytime I flowered on the outside
I would pull back and grow spikes
I didn't like being under scrutiny

you make me feel lovely without gawking at me
you let me dance on your periphery
with only a nod acknowledging I'm there

I really could have been anything I chose
I chose to be real I am strange
I reflect this in a weird metamorphis of the flesh

a tiny dancer barely there dancing through your dreams
quietly listening to you fantasies
and with a wish and a prayer willing them into being
stardust and music playing quietly

a muse of sorts living vicariously on your bold life
I conjure the demon that knows you best
putting my shyness to rest

I am sacredness darkness
I don't want to be pretty
I like it as it is an awkward attraction to a strange girl