BEACHED GRAY WHALE AT DUSK  (sometime around 1984-1985; while walking along the beach in Cardiff By the Sea, California)

 
   
a great spirit s vessel  
lies broken before me here  
breached breathless  
beached lifeless  
still present in form  
but whose presence  
of spirit and being s life essence  
in abscence here now  
is completely gone  
i can only find and take  
some relative comfort and solace  
to help alleviate  
to help lighten  
my heavy grief  
by my simultaneously imagining  
in this dark  weighty moment  
it s sweet  gentle  beautiful soul  
perhaps breaching anew  
even here now  
free and beloved by all  
in some other wondrous  
new  liquid heaven  beyond  
as this sullen  dark  gray sky  
above me here at dusk  
stands tombstoned upon  
and above this sea  
where even these continuous  
rhythmically incoming waves  
still come in to lap up against you  
as if they are desperately  
trying to awaken you  
from some deep  sudden sleep  
but now they can only futilely  
touch you without feel  
what possible  untimely hand of fate  
has left you here  
my majestic sea brother  
my precious  
yet now gone forever  
equally wondrous  
great ocean spirit  kindred friend  
was it simply  or naturally  
your time to go  
silent ebb of life s  
ever mysterious  
yin yang tidal flow  
come to steal you away  
or were you the unconscionable waste  
of some heartless  greedy    
completely inhumane  
now permanently intractable  
abominable human crime  
just another fallen  great spirit  
so soullessly  
so horrifically  
touched without feel  
which has now  
as this day s last bit of rapidly fading light  
so faintly lingering here still  
out over this vast pacific ocean s  
razor edged horizon line  
now completely fails  
as it sinks away and falls like you  
away from this perplexing physical world  
so far away from us all  
leaving us here  
presently now  
in both it s and your wake alike  
just that much more lost  
here in this darkness we re left with  
both of this night itself  
as well as this  
visibly more tangible  
yet somehow immeasurably  
more grievous loss  
which has now brought you down to this  
heartbreaking  truly tragic end  
where i myself  
upon first walking this beach  
and so unexpectedly coming upon  
the heart sickening sight of you  
so lifelessly lying here  
slowly decaying away  
in these shifting tideline shallows  
here at shoreline s edge  
upon this barren beach  
where the incoming sea breeze s usual  
steady  flowing  slightly salty  
refreshing breath  
now so soon already  
carries upon  within it  
the nauseatingly unbearable  
gut reeking stench of death  
that i was instantly so overwhelmed  
by the sudden  
shocking  
heart sickening sight of you  
that my eyes  
welled up with tears  
as i gazed out over you here  
beneath this once  
vast gray  somber  
tombstoned sky above  
now lapsed away to night s  
impermanent  black erasure  
as i gazed out over  
this seemingly endless  
transcendently comforting  
pacific ocean s  boundless  dancing  fluid plane  
it seemed to me  
at the time as if  
even in the constant hissing  
chorused rush  
of incessant  mournful sighs  
from off all these breaking  
ocean waves  
continuously rolling in to shore  
to lap and splash their    
living  liquid prayers  
of healing touch and hope  
up against and all around you  
against all odds  
though to no avail  
this time  
it seemed and felt to me as if  
they each and all  
the entire living ocean in fact  
were also openly crying for you too  
in their own kindredly  aquatic  
profoundly saddened  
deepest heartfelt  
collective ocean grief s  
mystical mourning for you
and at your sudden loss  
in their elemental  
innately spiritual sense  
of deeply felt  
unbearable grief  
for you too as well  
oh sweet  gentle giant  
you truly wondrous  
great spirit being  
you beautiful  
shining sea spirit  
of timelessly epic renown  
for your universally known  
admired  beloved  respected  
serenely graceful  
profoundly peaceful  
innermost beauty  
and your seemingly  
almost other worldly  
outermost being s  
truly majestic  physical form  
but also from my own  
more spiritually aligned  
experiential connection  
i ve had with whales like you  
my noble friend  
but while still alive  
out in the sea  
in the surf  in the waves  
up close and personal  
from only mere feet away  
passively looking at each other in passing  
quite literally eye to eye  
as they slowly glided gracefully by  
underwater  alongside  below and beneath me    
in sheer  utter wonderment  
and time frozen awe  
which has always felt to me  
each and every time  
this breathtakingly  unexpected  stunning rarity  
has happened to me  
to bless my life  
and quicken my light  
it s always seemed and felt to me  
even more so  
as if we were mutually staring  
off into the infinite  unfathomable depths  
of each other s kindred spirit s eternal souls  
mutually realizing  
in those wondrous  fleeting moments  
that we are truly all related  
that we are more than family  
for we are all  
truly one  
but now back to you  
my beautiful sea spirit brother  
so tragically  so sadly now fallen  
no longer living in this world  
just know this my beloved kin  
the fully awakened  
higher consciousness  
ocean deep knowing  
truly beautiful  cosmic being    
you once were  
and yet  even now  
still so purely  
still so clearly  
in your eternal spirit  
and soul still are  
but even further  
beyond all that  
timeless stretch  
of infinite time s  
illusory  timeless myth
nonetheless
just know this
my ocean spirit
kin and friend
that you
my sacred  
spirit brother
still always  
and forever  
will be