Life’s at a stand still…

Insane the way the world stays in place..
Life is stagnant yet constantly changing round and round we go when it stops no one knows…
In a constant war within myself everyday is a perpetual battle…
Ups and downs, highs and lows… drowning seeing people holding life vest yet who’s going to be selfless and let theirs go…
No one’s coming to help. No one to the rescue.
All alone like a seal on the ice shelf surrounded by killer whales. Waiting for a chance to escape while drifting further and further away from a safe place.
Out here in the ocean adrift with the current. Mother natures a cruel bitch as she glances at me while I pass on by. Please stop this current or at least slow it down for me to figure out a way out or at least enough time to understand how to survive.
All gas and no breaks. Smoke em if you got em. The drag stop of life past the quarter but so far from the half a mile. 2nd gear shot me far and 3rd gear shot me past the quarter. Yet hold the phone. Engine failure is starting to take hold. My computer calculated the wrong diagnostics, or was I to eager to jump in the car thinking I could easily beat my opponent. Neck and neck we go as he doesn’t even look forward. Cold dark eyes locked in on me as he’s inching more and more towards the finish as I’m slowly losing control.
My tires can’t grip the asphalt as my cars fishtailing on my path. The crowd stands in amazement. Some hoping I make it. Meanwhile, others, hoping for a horrible crash.
I’m on fire… I don’t know what happened people rushing to aid me while the ones wanting destruction now are reluctant by what they wished for cause the fear of karma has got them worrying bout their own selfish ass.
I’m fading out, in and out of existence, I’m fading away. It’s dark now I’m no longer feeling any pain…
I’m awake now wondering what’s going on. Subtle remembrance of death lingers in his mind while he wonders about the consequences of what all went wrong. Self pity, self humility, self tournament, all runs through his mind. While everyone else who’s never been in the position keeps stating their opinion of what he could have done to prevent the outcome of the events and what he’s done wrong. No one understands how he faced the reaper as he’s been waiting for him for so long yet, as he met him face to face, he wasn’t scared while in the moment. It felt like forever while the crash was only took 5-10 seconds. However, for the rest of his days, it says stuck on replay. Again and again keeps lingering on his mind on why he didn’t die. Every moment knowing he’d never have to face another problem if death would’ve just taken him and let him just fucking move on. Ah death, that cruel son of a bitch, knew his suffering is so great that he kept him alive to kept facing life until he starts getting it right. Fuck why couldn’t I have just been gone instead of letting everyone down yet another time. Here in this agony of disappointing everyone yet again.
Over and over and over and over in his head the torment of having to live while he don’t even understand his own life while others die wanting what he wishes and prays would end.
How selfish this man is not even getting or understanding how lucky he is all the while wishing he could change who he is. While not even knowing how tf he should begin…
Tormenting himself days upon end…
Is it selfish of him to not even care about what he did or wonder why he has to stay among people constantly apologizing and feeling like shit cause he knows he ruined everything once again.
Insane the world stays in place…
In a constant war within myself everyday is a losing battle…
No one’s coming to help. No one to the rescue.
Until he lets what should’ve died instead of him wanting himself to go…
The man lives the irony of the walking death..
A sheep in wolves clothes…