deepundergroundpoetry.com
Brilliant Lies
It's funny to see how it took for me to finally get over you.
Over all of those nonsense lies you told me.
How I believed every one of them.
How I could only imagine how much a fool I looked like actually believing every word you said to me.
When nothing you said was true.
The thought of your acting skills and lies just makes me feel so sick...
Sick with myself for believing you.
You never deserved it.
Never deserved my trust.
And I told you.
I warned you--
"If you're lying to me-- About anything, you will lose me."
Maybe you didn't believe me?
Thought that I would always be at your beck and call until you got bored with me.
But you lied to much...
To the point that it was just annoying and I seeked out comfort and safety from someone who really did love me.
Who could be honest with me.
Even when the honesty hurt.
You made me feel like this was all my fault of these months.
Held me in a box of guilt.
Believing that I was the bad person because I cheated on you.
I didn't cheat on you.
I was no longer yours.
Your lies pushed me so faraway that I felt like I wasn't even dating you anymore.
We were over when you first broke up with me.
Our entire relationship (A year and three months of it) was a lie.
One brilliant.
A brilliant lie that blew up in your face.
Because you lost that best thing that ever happen to you.
A person that was sane until you made her cut her wrist.
A girl that was whole until you broke her heart.
A girl that had dream until you shattered her soul.
You gave up on the person that never gave up on you.
Even after all the lies.
Remember?
You broke up with me.
I didn't break up with you.
I just was done bending for you.
Done beleiving everything you said.
Because if you had really loved me, you wouldn't have given up on me.
But you did....
You lied.
I cried.
We both tried to die.
But I have been free of cutting since Feburary.
Something that I cannot say happen with you.
You did not stop me from cutting.
You did not save me.
I tried to help you countless times.
But you just continued to lie.
About not being a virgin.
About being raped.
About being molested.
About being abused.
About a friend dying.
About hearing a voice inside your head.
Which turned to more voices.
Which turned to eleven personalities.
Which turned to you being the biggest LIAR that I have ever known.
But your most amazing lie, the best lie that you ever told.
Your most brilliant lie of all time.
Was when you said you loved me.
That was a brilliant lie.
Because I actually believed you.
Over all of those nonsense lies you told me.
How I believed every one of them.
How I could only imagine how much a fool I looked like actually believing every word you said to me.
When nothing you said was true.
The thought of your acting skills and lies just makes me feel so sick...
Sick with myself for believing you.
You never deserved it.
Never deserved my trust.
And I told you.
I warned you--
"If you're lying to me-- About anything, you will lose me."
Maybe you didn't believe me?
Thought that I would always be at your beck and call until you got bored with me.
But you lied to much...
To the point that it was just annoying and I seeked out comfort and safety from someone who really did love me.
Who could be honest with me.
Even when the honesty hurt.
You made me feel like this was all my fault of these months.
Held me in a box of guilt.
Believing that I was the bad person because I cheated on you.
I didn't cheat on you.
I was no longer yours.
Your lies pushed me so faraway that I felt like I wasn't even dating you anymore.
We were over when you first broke up with me.
Our entire relationship (A year and three months of it) was a lie.
One brilliant.
A brilliant lie that blew up in your face.
Because you lost that best thing that ever happen to you.
A person that was sane until you made her cut her wrist.
A girl that was whole until you broke her heart.
A girl that had dream until you shattered her soul.
You gave up on the person that never gave up on you.
Even after all the lies.
Remember?
You broke up with me.
I didn't break up with you.
I just was done bending for you.
Done beleiving everything you said.
Because if you had really loved me, you wouldn't have given up on me.
But you did....
You lied.
I cried.
We both tried to die.
But I have been free of cutting since Feburary.
Something that I cannot say happen with you.
You did not stop me from cutting.
You did not save me.
I tried to help you countless times.
But you just continued to lie.
About not being a virgin.
About being raped.
About being molested.
About being abused.
About a friend dying.
About hearing a voice inside your head.
Which turned to more voices.
Which turned to eleven personalities.
Which turned to you being the biggest LIAR that I have ever known.
But your most amazing lie, the best lie that you ever told.
Your most brilliant lie of all time.
Was when you said you loved me.
That was a brilliant lie.
Because I actually believed you.
Published 11th May 2012
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11th May 2012 7:01pm
How clear the world looks whenever you can finally open ur eyes again...to see with vision untainted with the cancerous burden that loving a liar is ;) I know what you speak of hun. I wanted to comment on this for two reasons...one, to say how beautiful and real this write is...but the main reason is to congratulate you...three months without cutting! Hell yeah! I know I barely know you, and only so thru ur writing, but I want you to know I am insanely proud of you ;) well done
12th May 2012 00:22am
Thank you very much. That means a lot to me. And thank for understanding this poem. It took me a long time to stop blaming myself for her lies and know that I was never to blame, it helped me stop cutting as well. And I am finally proud of myself as well. Thank you for your comment, it made me really happy.
13th May 2012 5:08am
And thank you for understanding enough and having the heart to come out of this with a positive outlook. you have truly impressed me and made a positive influence upon my own life. and thank you also for displaying it in sucj a beautiful manor ;)
