Pain

Father, I am a shattered soul who has been systematically
beaten down and battered
I understand you are a part of everything around me
I'm wondering with the hand I was dealt and with fate providing nothing but traps to fall in
did I ever stand a chance
or was I always fitted for destruction
so you can make your believers fear
I am angry Father but down deep hurt
you chose the instruments to torture me with
what lesson is here
I will not lie to you and raise my hands in false praise
with all the hurt in me I can't
you were with me when I learned to walk
then you went quiet when I was teen
then at thirty five you removed the veil from my mind cruelly
making sure I knew he was cheating and lying
I feel setup for failure
you created demons and used them to savagely attack me
King Solomon had the sigil ring to command demons to build your temple
and the arc of the covenant
why have demon prints on your holiest of holies on Earth
I am not Job I complain I am honest
it seems your loved only if you're male
peter was your disciple and you blind him then imprisoned him later
to what end?
to hurt his faith his heart
mine lays in ruins
I trusted you, you brought Ralph into my life
I was so bitterly broken down by then
I need unconditional love
I am human I can't make love to the wind
if you at the base of everything are all elements
how will be your companion
am I to always be hurt and excluded?
you've give me the hard hearted
that is my lot in life