Letter to Stephen Hawking.

In the big bang theory,what was it that went bang,
And was "oops" the sound just before?
Why do we think about life after death,
But never life before we were born?
If Jesus is Gods only begotten,what are you and me?
Why is there more oranges in cilit bang than there is in Sunny D?
Why do we debate the sex of God,but the Devil`s always male?
Do Al Qaeda have a staff canteen,would pound shops ever have a sale?
Why is applying mascara with their mouth closed,
Something no woman can do?
When God said "Come,let us make man in our image."
Who was he talking to?
Why has the word ,lisp ,got an "s" in it?
Why is phonetic not spelled as it sounds?
What would the shape of a chair be,
If our legs bent the other way round?
Is the opposite of disgruntled,gruntled?
So the univere is expanding,into where?
Why is a bra singular,but knickers are classed as a pair?
Will they one day discover celery is fattening?
Do animals ever get stoned?
Why have i been accused of being a sexist,
By all three of the wives that i`ve owned?
What do butterflies get in their stomachs?
Who made the Turin shroud?
Why when i stub my toe on the bed,
It help when i sing la la la,really loud?
Is it possible to direct a bowling ball, just by waving your hands?
awking,How do they get the non stick stuff to stick to the non stick pans?