Worn out beats

 
 
 
I didn't need any  
electronic music  
playing in my  
ear-phones  
 
as I listened  
to numbness  
throwing up  
in the toilet,  
 
I watch her  
throwing up  
all her little  
grey matters  
 
thinking to myself  
how it starts taking  
the biscuit in the  
brain department,  
 
to watch somebody  
end up becoming  
an entire shitshow  
 
only to find yourself  
having to piece back  
together all of the
wild nonsense  
 
they want to  
throw in your  
direction,  
 
I was there  
almost eight  
years ago now  
 
but I grew to learn  
my grey matters,  
 
I took mine out  
of all their cases  
 
winced at  
dark spaces  
occupying  
inside of  
my brain  
 
howled hard  
in the night  
over each  
of them  
 
I remind myself,  
 
you aint  
here anymore  
 
these ain't the cards  
you should have to  
be dealing with  
 
then I say fuck this,  
 
I aint about  
to clean up  
yours.