deepundergroundpoetry.com
Unassuming
You set a date, bring roses,
open the car door, fumble
while offering wine, I
warm to your heart, you
tell me this cold room has
been occupied for years by
another, though you cannot
remember her name, yet
I am supposed to love you.
open the car door, fumble
while offering wine, I
warm to your heart, you
tell me this cold room has
been occupied for years by
another, though you cannot
remember her name, yet
I am supposed to love you.
Published 15th May 2024
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likes 6
reading list entries 0
comments 10
reads 201
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
15th May 2024 2:56pm
16th May 2024 2:21am
15th May 2024 4:11pm
16th May 2024 2:23am
15th May 2024 6:38pm
This is a very "Cloud Atlas" like poem, with dimensions and timelines intertwining. I enjoyed the nature of it.
16th May 2024 2:24am
15th May 2024 6:40pm
Oooh. I want to beat the crap out of him for you.
The title works perfectly for your poem and I agree with LDF, that last line is stunning.
The title works perfectly for your poem and I agree with LDF, that last line is stunning.
16th May 2024 2:25am
19th May 2024 9:28am
Dear U,
This poem was like meeting a girlfriend to hash out the details over coffee and sitting with mouths agape at the audacity of the situation. Like WTF? I felt a huge deflated feeling because sadly, I’ve experienced similar situations. If it wasn’t so painful it’d be hysterical. Your writing of it was formatted and executed brilliantly. H🌷
This poem was like meeting a girlfriend to hash out the details over coffee and sitting with mouths agape at the audacity of the situation. Like WTF? I felt a huge deflated feeling because sadly, I’ve experienced similar situations. If it wasn’t so painful it’d be hysterical. Your writing of it was formatted and executed brilliantly. H🌷
19th May 2024 12:11pm
Dear H,
Yes to 'if it wasn't so painful it'd be hysterical'! Thank you for your kind, empathetic comment.
warmly,
ursa
Yes to 'if it wasn't so painful it'd be hysterical'! Thank you for your kind, empathetic comment.
warmly,
ursa
