Ready to walk away

I'm sitting in a parking lot trying to evade the fights.
You always say I'm problem I lose my shit.
Even tho it's likely both of us I'm going to sleep in this lot tonight.
I learned long ago to leave and let the anger from both quit.
It's hard to want to come back anymore.
I know we have more times of anger and sadness then happy.
I get tired of the feeling we'll never go back to the before.
 I want to stay gone all the time when your home now.
Before the happiness seemed to become your bore.
I want to be in my kids lives as they have no idea why or how.
How we fight so much now a days.
Why we seem so mad and depressed constantly.
I don't want them thinking it's about them either way.

I don't want to