I stand, you chase

I watch you chase empty fixes  
let the anxiety fade from your grasp
and breathe in a reality that only exists
on the other side of the drug cocktail you mixed  
 
I can't remember the last time  
you fucked me  
with nothing but blood in your veins  
and I wonder if you like me better  
when you're only half in the game  
 
But then you look at me  
like I'm the end of your world  
like I'm the beginning of everything  
like I'm the spark at the start of the universe  
 
And I don't fucking understand  
how you can walk the line  
between fucked up and loved up  
because I can't walk that line with you  
 
And you can't understand  
just how far down I'll take you  
if I fall  
 
You think you know me  
but no one knows me  
and I can't shoot you up  
with the way the darkness  
claws at me  
just to make you understand  
that sometimes I feel like death  
I'm human form  
just waiting to take a life  
 
So instead I watch you chase empty fixes  
let the anxiety fade from your grasp
and breathe in a reality that only exists
on the other side of the drug cocktail you mixed  
that fixes nothing at all