Shackled

I ventured down into the basement        
To set up my personal prison          
Shackles anchored for enslavement        
This suicide mission I envisioned          
I lock in my legs and arms        
And across the room I toss the key        
This desolation chamber prepared to harm        
My mind and body and pending reality        
This self torture I patiently await        
Until i die; no water and starvation          
Reflecting on the thoughts I hate        
Until I see my lifes illumination          
Hour by hour and day by day        
Reflecting on what led to this point        
All the thoughts I had tucked away        
And how I would always disappoint        
The pain I feel while I reminisce          
Reliving all the mistakes I made        
Memories of the sins I'd commit        
Grey to black my conscious fades        
Across the room is my salvation        
Within my vision but out of reach        
A microcosm without determination        
Of life's redemption that tried to teach        
But I ignored all of the opportunities          
Continuing down an unforgivable path        
I thought I was living with immunity        
But now I'm facing lifes punishing wrath        
In life I was focused on my death        
But now that death is getting nearer        
Reflecting on life and remaining breaths        
I see both sides of this twisted mirror        
This prison of my mental suffering        
Slowly as my mind is deteriorating          
New miseries I keep discovering        
My rage filled with the guilt I'm hating        
In life I was always shackled        
A prisoner of society's conditions          
In death I too am shackled          
Now a prisoner of my decisions