deepundergroundpoetry.com
Short Term Memory Loss
Short Term Memory Loss
No doubt,
she knocked
me out
but
saying so
would have
let her know
that
I was
already....
so ready
under her spell.
Connection
plays
a slope
so tight
it
squeaks
to ask
how
close
when
all
the way
is
so much
further
than
orgasm
took us.
And
I still
can't remember
her apartment door
having gone
down
to my car
to fetch
my phone.
No doubt,
she knocked
me out
but
saying so
would have
let her know
that
I was
already....
so ready
under her spell.
Connection
plays
a slope
so tight
it
squeaks
to ask
how
close
when
all
the way
is
so much
further
than
orgasm
took us.
And
I still
can't remember
her apartment door
having gone
down
to my car
to fetch
my phone.
Published 5th May 2024
Author's Note
Cos play as a play date can find irony.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
5th May 2024 4:02pm
A couple of things after reading this. After reading the title, I took the first stanza as literal. Then realized it wasn't.
Second, In the stanza
And I still
can't remember
her apartment door
having gone
down
You might want to separate her apartment door from the next sentence. It sounds like the door literally went down by itself.
Best lines
Connection
plays
a slope
so tight
it
squeaks.
Good one. :)
Second, In the stanza
And I still
can't remember
her apartment door
having gone
down
You might want to separate her apartment door from the next sentence. It sounds like the door literally went down by itself.
Best lines
Connection
plays
a slope
so tight
it
squeaks.
Good one. :)
5th May 2024 4:30pm
her apartment door,
having gone
down
You are so correct....thanks.
On the other 2 things, I can neither confirm nor deny their actual application.
Literal means words.
I try to run a tight ship. Thanks for commenting.
having gone
down
You are so correct....thanks.
On the other 2 things, I can neither confirm nor deny their actual application.
Literal means words.
I try to run a tight ship. Thanks for commenting.
