How

 



How can I keep living when I feel like I don’t belong?
How can I survive when I can no longer be strong?
How can I have hope when it’s been taken away?
How can I fight when I don’t wish to stay?
How can I smile when I just need to cry?
So many questions, so many whys.

I’m no longer at home in myself anymore,
Every day I wake up lost I’ll never find who I was before,
I am a stranger in my own mind, lost with no direction,
Trying to find a part of my self with no navigation,
Impossible right?
Fills me with fright.

This shouldn’t be my life, I shouldn’t feel this way,
Wishing I was dead, wishing I wouldn’t stay,
Hurting myself as a way to cope,
Killing myself as I have no hope.

So tired yet I can’t sleep,
Every day of every week,
Racing thoughts, racing mind,
Loud voices so brutal and unkind,
Rituals and obsessions I must complete,
All in the way of my rest and sleep,
Believing bad things are on their way,
So I’m compelled to do what the voices say.

I can’t fight through the days anymore,
I can’t keep living, my minds tired and sore,
Confused and lost in this broken body,
Controlled by the demons. Not me but somebody,
They’ve taken over my body, under my skin,
Buried inside of me, deep within,
No coming back anymore,
No more fighting, the distress just gets more.

Life’s been nothing but torture,
Pain, anger, fear. Torture,
No fight left nor light to be seen,
Throughout this battle, I got lost in between,
Not coming back from such pain,
My days are up! I really don’t want to remain.