5x7) Pretty Words Paint A Thousand Pictures

I’ve always wanted to be able  
to draw  
to paint  
to render in picture perfect portrait  
a moment  
so flowers will live forever  
or as forever as the blades of the brush strokes cut into the canvass will last  
 
but I remember that I’m careless with  
with beauty and my clumsy hands  
often cling too tight
to make anything  
more than a mess of it all  
 
I’d still try  
if it meant I could capture  
the moment I broke your heart again  
because even amidst the ravages of agony  
you’re still beautiful  

our promises are bile in my mouth  
I want to take it all back  
paint the happiness of before  
run time in rewind until you’re with me  
on my lap
our foreheads pressed together  
young love blossoming  
on the vines of a bleeding heart  
 
we were an open wound  
all fuck-me-now energy  
no guiding light  
just dark grinding need  
a plane crash with two survivors  
that left charred and battered  
the imprints of the steering wheel still  
crushed into my rib cage  
 
my trembling fingers grip the brush  
to dip in blood so I can paint a picture  
worth more than all these petty words